Howard's Big Talent

Yep, the old fart thinks that remaining vertical for a few hours a day on a stale satellite that keeps getting lost in space is a big talent and he said on Monday's show that thinks he's funny. Well we all think he's funny, how do you think this blogger has maintained this site for so long? Howard provides endless content to make fun of, then he had to marry a giant clown.

Now, that is funny, especially when he informed audiences she was a model, I mean, how hilarious was that? Howard has some great joke writers. Beth, that humongous lump of nothing he married who keeps tripping over her own giant feet and falling all over the place and Howard snipes at her on the air talking about all the wine she drinks, Miss Nobu leftover from the NY party scene entertaining a bunch of freaks and geeks with Beth looking like a mutation with fetish freaks paying 100 bucks to see her take off her left leg, the one that bends inward and she keeps falling over it or toppling down the spiral staircase in Manhattan, according to Howard's own words, yes, he said it, that Beth fell down that flight of stairs in the Manhattan apartments that connect the penthouse with the apartments beneath it.

Oh, yes, then it is soooo important to Howard to have his agent submit his name for the Forbes list of top earners in entertainment, a list Stern has no business being on, he is not an entertainer. Well, it's a big fucking deal to Howard to prove to all the mean kids back home that he made it and is rich, although Forbes listed his income at 95 million when that is his total income with Sirius and as a judge fucking up the ratings for NBC on "America's Got Talent". Stern has to pay for all his operating expenses at Sirius, bringing that amount down to about 70 million, a portion of which he has to pay out to contractors working on his Florida Fortress remodel debacle where Beth stated in a press release she was going to foster cats there. Yes, it is public, that contractors filed a lien against that leaning tower of Pizza & Wine in Florida with a few cats stuffed in a closet to count it as charity work.

But so what, give the old man something to hang onto since he is a dinosaur that keeps getting pieced together and propped up in his museum called a broadcast studio at the SiriusXM building housing a bunch of channels to crowd the stations to make up for the Stern hiring debacle with Mel Karmazin being fired after giving Stern a big bonus then skating out with a huge stock bonus for himself before he got canned by the board of directors and Monster Malone who owns just over half of the Sirius shares. The deal was with unsold new cars, not with Stern, Stern was not responsible for the increased subscriptions it was counted as new unsold cars where the new owners would get about three weeks of Sirius free. Stern drives everything into the ground, hammering away at those nails in his coffin.

Stern also provided a hair transplant update on Monday's satellite radio show giving advice to all the bald people working for him and to his regular listener. We know Howard is a hair expert.

We learned from Beth's Stupidgram that she found a few more adults cats for her Manhattan prison processing center so maybe Howard can pretend again to foster the adult cats and hide from any potential lawsuits claiming he has no knowledge of anything since he is Batman and prefers to visit the bat cave once in awhile to pretend to be a foster father to justify the new tax shelter in the guise of a cat shelter while he skates out to his new digs with the Village people. Hard work, isn't it Howard? Keeping up appearances?

It is difficult keeping up with Beth's appearances this season in the Hamptons since she is practically disappearing off the social register radar since she means nothing to anyone, I mean, she isn't famous. Plus, she is married to a giant dinosaur on a dead satellite who is dyslexic and color blind and thinks those bills and invoices that are sent to his home with the "amount due" columns are fan letters.