Dressed To Kill or Be Killed

While Tom Cruise was snubbing that stupid Hamptons screening on July 24 of his latest installment of the Mission Impossible movie franchise with bloated faced Howard Stern and his debacle discovery called "a second wife" parading around thinking they are celebrities, Tom Cruise was at a major fan screening of "Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation" in England on July 25. The movie was shown at an IMax theater and featured a Q&A with Cruise and other stars of the film. Yes, it was an exclusive red carpet event, exclusive meaning, not in America where the Sterns could barge in and parade around with purses and phones in a Botox stupor thinking it's 1996.

Heil Hilter Mutherfuckers, live long and prosper. Beth and Howard like to do the red carpet wave just like their rogue leader.

Of course the great Eddie Izzard knows where the real action is and walked the red carpet for the exclusive MI screening on July 25 in London looking like he was dressed to kill.

And what happened with Super Beth this year for the annual Ovarian Cancer Research Fund's Super Saturday shopping event? You know, where a bunch of rich hagathas lope across a pasture to be the first to grab at last year's designer clothes and purses to wear on red carpets thinking they are absolutely fabulous and their publicity agents submit their dumb photos for tabloid dress fights? All to promote ovarian cancer research with Rogue Beth seemingly MIA.

I mean, she wouldn't miss jumping in front of a camera would she? And what about her bloated faced husband with a huge wig thicket hiding all his plastic surgery nips and tucks? Where was he? Oh, he has been there before, hiding behind the Victoria's Secret tent stuffing bras in his free gift bag before diving head first into his waiting limo while Beth scours the racks looking for plus size designer clothes and horse hats to wear for her next selfie photo session at Stalag Beth.




2014, Super Saturday with Beth O and the creator of Fashion Week Fern Mallis who is older than dirt, covering the event for SiriusXM. Gotta justify that Beth O Sirius salary, right? Now you know what Beth hides in those huge byproducts of the bovine and ovine slaughter industries with designer logos: microphones. How else do you think she gets into all these events without paying or donating one dime?

The Super Saturday Couple in 2005.

Howard wishes he was Eddie; hilarious, smart, witty, and gorgeous. Too bad so sad when all Howard is accomplishing is morphing into Dr. Brandt, the bloated dermatologist who didn't like facelifts but had a needle fetish. He was called back to his home planet shortly after his Sirius satellite radio show was canned.

Howard will eventually look like Dr. Brandt. Howard can't face it he is old with thin patchy curls that have now morphed into a giant wig thicket weave. There is no turning back. He is married to this look, and needs the filler injections along the jawline to swell the skin outward to provide definition, although Howard needs to lose weight because his face will only get bigger with the injections. Dr. Brandt was really skinny before he hanged himself in his garage using that yellow cord that was tied around the shipment of paintings that was sent to his home in Florida. You remember, Howard shops for paintings now in the Hamptons. Oh yes, he is channeling Dr. Brandt in his selfie hypnosis sessions hiding from his debts in Florida.

Sunday Funnies