Scrumptious

I hope all Beth Fans are enjoying a truly scrumptious brunch while we watch what happens with the dopey yard birds attacking Beth O's aged solo feral cat that manages to make that long trek to Stalag Beth in the Hamptons for scraps of food left over from the prisoners currently housed inside the prison camp of snatched purebred cats and the phony foster cats that will soon be transferred via a hired town car to another facility once Beth gets sick of them as photo props. This homeless cat gimmick was only intended to last during the summer, yet has lasted throughout the year since is satisfies Beth's selfie fetish and there is no threat of Beth being stuck with a permanent camera hog called a baby. 

Howard used to love to brag to his aged sidekick Robin about how young and fertile his little wifey was while Robin downs tubs of ice cream pretending to be vegan while gaining tons of weight since the release of her phony vegan recipe book that just manages to add to a person's waistline and they might have to stage a phony cancer battle because their lap band exploded.

The self-proclaimed vegan, Robin Shirley Temple Black Quivers, has recently announced on the Stern satellite radio show that she eats eggs and fish. She stated she jumps into the freezer to get at the food quickly and save any prep time while wearing only a top and no pants to save time with bathroom breaks. 

Poor Bethie, even a fetus is terrified of growing inside of her for fear the rarely vertical potential mother would stumble her way to the bathroom to vomit her pizza and wine and come out head first and land in a heap on the floor with Howard claiming on his radio show that Beth has another broken and/or sprained ankle to avoid a pesky event with some peon he pays to work for him. 

Then Howard can once again call Beth's father the doctor who is really a dentist with a license he suddenly decided to voluntarily surrender to state authorities or be thrown into a federal prison and daddy will tell his daughter to stick her head in the shower and rinse her mouth per the usual routine after spending a night with one of her Johns, I mean, Howard Stern. So, no baby or miscarriage scares means that Beth can't promote Heidi Klum's line of children's clothing. Beth has decided on the menopausal baby routine right now wearing kiddie clothes instead of having any human kiddies. 

Baby Menopause in a photo
 posted on Instagram 6-13-15.

Oh well, Howard hates kids now that he thinks he is young what with being filmed in the dark on television with tons of CGI enhancements and his thick wig and pancake makeup. Hey, he can't be tied down with any babies, he married a baby! We know Beth is mentally disturbed so I guess we are stuck with the menopausal baby routine desperate to show her boobs and crotch to anyone who will look at her public Instagram site that Beth thinks is her reality show filled with headless shots of herself and her rarely seen husband.

Suddenly Beth forgot Howard Stern pays his sister to promote Beth's pet charity the North Shore Animal League which also houses Beth's personal foundation, Bianca's Furry Friends. Sister Stern has always posted tons of photos of animals up for adoption on her Facebook site and takes the photos herself; hey, it's a living. How else can she account for all the dough from 112 Productions? 

I suppose Beth will never know the joys of motherhood as the royal family enjoy their new additions as the Duchess Camilla tries to not push precious Kate out of the royal carriage. Duchess Catherine is often the target of Camilla's arrows and feeds stories to the tabloids about how she got those kids [IVF? Surrogate? Mystery? Rumor: Kate was pregnant on her wedding day and suffered a miscarriage of the first royal heir to the British throne].

Like father like son, Charles and William astride horses during the 2015 Trooping The Colour festivities, a ceremony where they wear black bears on their heads and parade around letting everyone know there is still a monarchy in Britain that is not soon to be shelved.

Anyone following Beth on her public Instagram site knows that she and Howard are naming everything in sight of those barred windows at Stalag Beth, Hamptons.