The Girl Can't Take It

After Beth Stern's crashing failure at guest hosting "The Talk" this week, Beth can't take it that she is still an ignored pariah, getting no positive comments from viewers of the failing talk show. First of all, nobody knows who Beth Stern is and once they find out who she is the channel gets clicked off and that's the end of Beth's big launch into talk show fame, something she has tried to get for 20 years and has failed miserably.

The heavily made up Beth failed to garner any fans on "The Talk" this week. It was plainly obvious the ticked off wife of Howard Stern was ready to take it out on some one or some thing. Was it Heidi Klum? Heidi is a global superstar, not someone struggling to be launched into show business at 45 years old on a D List talk show.

Pretty funny, that just after Beth's taped episode of The Talk aired on American television, a woman phoned in a bomb threat to the studios where Heidi Klum was hosting the season finale of "Germany's Next Top Model" forcing the television station to pull the plug:

Pictured is Heidi Klum, the host of Germany's Next Top Model.  It seems the bomb threat was a hoax and the hoaxster is being sought at this time by police and government officials.

The broadcast was set for three hours and the network pulled the plug shortly after the first hour due to the bomb threat by a woman, with Heidi receiving a personal threat, according to reports:

Beth grimmaced her way through both performances of The Talk this week [Monday and Thursday], making bizarre facial expressions only capable of a mentally unbalanced woman horribly attacked with Botox/filler needles. Beth was forced to tape both of her guest hosting appearances on Monday, since Beth batches her appearances. You see, Howard only pays for one session with a professional stylist and makeup artist so Beth would have been faded and stinky by Thursday, with old caked makeup, so they had to film both of her appearances on Monday [5/11]. 

Screen cap taken from CBS.com, The Talk episode airing 5/14/15.

Beth appears to be back on lockdown at Stalag Beth and fans wonder if she could be hiding from reporters who want to know her whereabouts when the bomb threat was phoned into Heidi's show on Thursday. What with technology and Howard Stern's use of satellites that keep falling out of the sky and crashing and burning, it might be difficult to track down the original source of the threat.

All the dismal unfunnyman Howard could
think of for his last performance on the Letterman
show was balancing a cowboy hat on his wig
and forcing Dave to wear a hat too. Yes, Big Bird
Stern laid a giant egg and proves he
belongs with a mothballed satellite company.

Another suspect in the bomb threat is Howard Stern himself since he has publicly appeared in drag on many occasions and in photographs and has spoken in his mother's voice on terrestrial radio and now on his satellite radio show. Are police checking to see if the woman caller's voice matches Howard's voice? We don't know, what we do know is that Howard Stern's last performance on the David Letterman show went horribly bad, with every other celeb topping him.

Photo [left] is from Rolling Stone magazine of Dave and his son Harry. During Howard Stern's appearance on the David Letterman Show on May 11, Howard gave Dave a stupid painting of a flower that he did and said it was a gift for Dave's wife. Pretty interesting Howard Stern never acknowledges Dave's son and failed to give his son any gift. Howard runs and hides from celebs with babies and young kids because he can't face it that he cannot afford a baby with his wild banshee crazy for fame wife, Bethie O'Barren. Aside from the fact many insiders are whispering behind her back that she's stupid by not conjuring up a baby of some sort to get some dough out of the old codger. I mean, all she got out of Howard Stern was a D List diamond ring and a prenup she actually thinks won't be immediately contested by the witches of Endor once the old man kicks the bucket.

George Clooney made his last appearance on the Letterman show this week and handcuffed himself to Dave to make sure he doesn't leave late night television. Yes, after getting the no-lister Howard Stern's appearance out of the way and in the can and flushed, we are getting the big stars parading on the Letterman show one last time.

Beth's super PR team of Mullet, Brod
and Bloomfield.

Everyone is laughing behind Stern's back. He is a joke and Bethie's management team is laughing all the way to the bank while doing shitty work. I mean, Beth's team got her that "Yoda the Cat" cartoon book with a story that teaches kids a blonde woman adopted a purebred Persian cat, wow, some message. Then Beth answers phones for some day trader company then onto The Talk with that gawd awful wooden Julie Chen where Beth makes a prize ass out of herself appearing mentally disturbed in front of TV cameras. I know, Beth is unmarketable, and Howard knows that. But a fool and his money are soon parted and there is no bigger fool than an old fool and...I'm out of cliches.

Where's Stern's management team? Only a few obscure internet sites posted a photo of Howard and Beth on May 9 when they double-dated with Jimmel Kimmel and his wife at the Polo Bar in New York. What happened to all the mainstream media outlets? Couldn't afford it, right Howard?