Animal Rescue

Now this is what I call "animal" rescue and he can rescue me anytime from the ledge of a Manhattan apartment building on the upper West side with a doorman who puts up tacky Halloween decorations all over the lobby every year.

We can't wait for 31 this year as Rob Zombie is busy working on his latest gorefest to scare everyone out of the theater but nothing is as scary as Beth Stern's giant fat head on television.

Audiences are still reeling from that awful debacle of Beth Stern called "guest hosting" on last week's awful borefest "The Talk" where the regular hosts obsess over the gibberish coming out of Taylor Swift's PR team, like the whole world of daytime TV zombies are just waiting for the next Taylor Swift bulletin as Julie Chen talks slow enough so the retarded third graders watching the show can understand her every word.

Heidi Klum rallied after the bomb threat during the live taping of the finale of "Germany's Next Top Model" where we have yet to find out the winner of the big modeling contract with Heidi's dad and manager and the guy who practically runs the entire modeling industry in Germany, Big Gunther Klum, who has failed to make any public statements about the bomb threat or the threat made personally to Heidi from a man in a Prince Valiant wig. We wonder if Howard has his Prince Valiant wig missing from his wig closet in his closet in Manhattan, but we would have to ask his wig master Ralph Cirella for the answer to that question. Heidi is still in Germany and appeared in Berlin on May 15 at the party held at the Department store KaDeWe for her clothing line, not letting any bomb scares scare her away from the spotlight.

Staged phony photo from
Stalag Beth of Yoda the
purebred Persian cat with the phony
made up heart condition that
was cured by Beth Stern so she
could sell some books to
her pigeon public.

Beth is still staging phony photo shoots with that disinterested purebred Persian cat who gets kittens thrown on his body by Beth and her team of personal assistants that are at her beck & call all day and night in the Hamptons so boring Beth can have something to post on her Instagram site and prove somehow she is doing something other than tapping her fingers on the kitchen counter while guzzling Clooney wine waiting for her goddamned PR team to call her with her next big daytime talk show appearance once Howard Stern's checks clear the banks.

Evolution of an Obnoxious Fathead who never made it in show business

The photos below are about ten years apart from 2004 & 2014. Notice the Howard Stern makeover:

• Huge upper horse teeth added to cover over Beth's two-rows of giant teeth; teeth unnaturally super white so she can wear that super red lipstick Howard loves so much.
• Huge long hair extensions; color darkened at the roots to hide her gray hair that is growing in. This girl has no more naturally dark roots.
• Botox overload, with the right eye shut and left lazy eye hidden with hair.
• A second nose job, nose in the photo on the right is thinner than in the photo, left.

Happy Sunday, Beth Fans

Stay tuned for more fun to come as that ratings killer Howard Stern gears up for the premiere of "America's Got Talent" as he scrambles and crawls on his knees crying to producers to pleeeaase keep the show on life support for another season in 2016.