Swan Song

The auditions for America's Got Talent (AGT) have started in awesome Newark, NJ where all the same cast members are back since NBC was not shelling out anymore money for any new divas at the judges table since it's a dying franchise that is on its last legs. 

We can't wait to see the talent this year remembering AGT is billed as a reality show, not a game show, with a winner already secretly selected as we follow the unknown nobody who is going nowhere on their journey to winning a ton of money before being kicked in the ass into oblivion; much like retiring from your day job and sitting on a satellite radio show until you die.

Did we wake you, Howard?
Howard on the AGT red carpet in NJ
3/2/15 looking like he slept funny
on that wigged weave with
the color spray mousse to
fill in between his patchy curls
and his face paint is pasty
making him look like an
anemic menopausal woman.

Howard Stern manages to get his old man body out of bed and drag himself to what is called a "job" instead of that pre-recorded shit he does on satellite radio where nobody knows if he's live or just tapes all that stuff in one day and is done for the week so he can obsess about his big career and launching himself into the late night TV show arena at 61 years old while his wife thinks she is on the verge of stardom at 45 as she is holed up in Murder World [aka, Stalag Beth] in the Hamptons when we don't know what kittens will survive before being dumped onto a bunch of paid stooges in NJ where the fate of the cats is unknown.

Beth's selfie posted on
her Instagram site 3/1/15.

Beth is taking a hair extensions break and posing for sleeping selfies again while her cats are getting fatter and fatter since nobody has anything to do but stare blankly at Beth's iPhone so the dolt has something to post on her media sites for the enjoyment of her paid corporate followers.

Photo from Beth's Instagram posted 3/2/15. Another riveting scene from Stalag Beth as the warden takes a break from badgering people into giving her money to fund an invisible building extension at the North Shore Animal League as her tax lawyers get on board to come up with some numbers for this tax quarter and keep the princess out of the IRS tub of water two inches high to purify her private parts that are rarely vertical.

Remember when O'Connell
was engaged to Giuliana DePandi?
Both are Howard Stern fans.
Now she's Rancic and never
could have kids for obvious reasons;
skeletons can't reproduce [ask
Sheri Zombie] so she found
a surrogate to carry her dreadlock
hating demon seed with her
husband Bill Rancic.

Everyone still hates Giuliana Rancic since she slammed the dreadlocks on a Hollywood star who walked the red carpet at the Academy Awards ceremony last month. I guess she won't be taking any job offers from Rob Zombie since she hates a lot of hair yet she would be perfect for his upcoming Halloween film called "31" playing one of the dried bones that the captured victims find along the way of the prison hellhole Murder World they are stuck in to instill fear and terror as they may end up looking like Rancic before the film is over.

Skeletor Sheri from "The Lords of Salem"

Lady Bruce Jenner has a new pad in the Malibu hills hiding from lawsuits as he has downsized since he could no longer keep up with the Kardashians [including his own daughters who are not Kardashians but Jenners yet the show is still only about the Kardashians since the Jenners are gender nonspecific and are dull as a bunch of stale old tarnished medals from the Olympic games a million years ago].

Bruce is now king of the ant hill as he is armed and ready to shoot down any attackers wanting his divorce settlement money.

Poor old man Stern still hopes to launch that gawd awful "Howard TV" on an Internet site with Whalerock Industries. So get ready to pay to once again see interviews with a bunch of dull celebs who have been living under rocks with buried careers as they get a second chance with Howard TV.

OH, everyone will race to pay to see Stern
interview this old has-been. 

Good luck with that Stern. A bunch of corporations will plug into the new digital site [via the web and mobile apps] and their paid employees will get to see your satellite radio show; oh wow. But everyone knows Howard Stern could launch his own personal site with paid subscribers [all 112 of them], why does he always have to be under a corporate umbrella? Because he's a failure, a stupido, an idiot [according to the NY Daily News]. Howard does nothing solely on his own. Everything he has done has been canceled in a second or was never aired on TV and just available for free on You Tube to mock. Howard has to be grouped in with a ton of other celebs, and a ton of content as Whalerock is supposedly going to offer both free and paid content. 

Good luck, Stern, as with the AGT franchise, it was already established, nobody cared Stern tanked the ratings, it was a summer filler show anyway, an infomercial to promote NBC. Let's see how fast Stern can be buried in the massive content that Whalerock hopes to attract before it crashes and burns and celebs move onto another digital outlet to market their dumb careers...omg, they signed the Kardashians...wow, Stern and the Kardashians, where is Van Helsing when we need him?