Razzle Dazzle 'Em

How old were you when you came to the Big Apple??

I CAN'T REMEMBER! I WAS AN INNOCENT IN THE BIG CITY, 33 YET PRETENDING I WAS 23!!

Why did you marry Howard Stern?

HE TOLD ME HE COULD MAKE ME A STAR!

Can you tell me why you killed him?

I DIDN'T! HE WAS A PUPPET MASTER! ALL THE FAILED PROMISES, ALL THE MILEAGE ON THAT MATTRESS; WE BOTH WENT FOR THE GUN...BUT I WAS POWERLESS TO STOP HIM!!

I don't understand why she did it. Howard meditates, 
he draws little idiot pictures, he takes 
Beth's picture all the time...I don't get it.

This was Howard Stern's braino
idea to make his unknown psycho
wife a star. Good one Stern
razzle dazzle 'em while you
work on launching that
Howard TV yet again; oh, we all
want to see a plastic surgery silicone
injected old fart interview
stars we all thought were already
dead.

Poor girl, hard luck story, stuck behind bars in the Hamptons, lock-down, solitary confinement, no bread but plenty of booze and pills...oh, not THE pill, that's bad for Howard's women, Howard forbids it, he said it on his radio show....cough, cough, choke, and gag...oh! Booze and Jazz Baby, that's what did her in.

What if your hinges all are rusting?

What if, in fact, you're just disgusting?

Razzle dazzle 'em

And they'll never catch wise!

Give 'em the old Razzle Dazzle

Razzle dazzle 'em

Show 'em the first rate sorceror you are

Long as you keep 'em way off balance

How can they spot you've got no talent

Razzle Dazzle 'em

Give 'em the old three ring circus

Stun and stagger 'em

When you're in trouble, go into your dance

Though you are stiffer than a girder

They'll let you get away with murder

Razzle dazzle 'em

And you've got a romance