RIPOSA IN PACE

Good luck ousting
Beth's bully son off that
top shelf.

Sad, much? Uh, no, but Miss Beth has her best smirk-face expression as she tries to muster up some sadness remembering her days from acting and modeling school to try and come up with a sad face as her cat Apple seems to be facing that last climb up the big ladder of the cat tree to heaven [providing that fat bully Yoda the cat gets off the damn top shelf where his butt is always housed].

Let's fire up that press machine as the Lasix-eyed monster can try to muster some fake tears through those plugged tear ducts as Howard Stern scrambles to write a million press releases to have them ready when Big Apple buys the Big Casino. 

Yes, we remember that little story about Apple the cat, that was found in a crate somewhere at the North Shore Animal League, whose writers need to come up with better fake stories about how they acquire animals for Princess Bethie, whose lawyers set up her personal "Bianca's Furry Friends" foundation to fund Miss Nobody's fame quest and ensure the pest will not be ignored by the press or anyone as Howard fights to keep her alive in the news and portray himself as some cradle robber, providing everyone's cradle is stuffed with 30-something wannabees who latched onto an old fart for fame and fortune only to be stuck with the animal rescue gimmick to nowhere as she faces the big 5-0.

How many animals have to die before this bitch gets her own TV show? Come on folks, bulldog death didn't work, maybe a cat death since she wants a trillion dollars to fund an imaginary extension to house cats at an existing building at the North Shore Animal League where she skates off with dough as their national spokesperson.

Nobody will give Miss Leather Fake Tits
a permanent TV job?

Beth can now laugh at that Rainbow Bridge and all the dolts who fawn over their pets as she made evident on her one-shot canceled TV series for Nat Geo Wild called Spoiled Rotten Pets.

We all remember Miss Mentally Disabled trying to read from a script for her one shot on Animal Planet as a judge of the Ugliest Dog Contest held in California, no job offers came out of this? Nope.

Maybe go back to the wild, Bethie, and adopt a possum. Since Howard is obsessed with naming all Beth's phony foster kittens after food products, this one can be called Road Kill Dinner Loaf:

Ever see what's in the basement of Stalag Beth in the Hamptons? Many enter, few leave.