Maximum Beth

Oh, please don't keep asking Beth about being a Maxim magazine girl when she hogs a red carpet!! Yes, according to Kathy Griffin, Monday's featured boring old lady guest on Howard Stern's satellite radio show.

We know Miss Beth has moved on from that and has moved on with her big lie, I mean, big life and is super famous for being a phony foster mother who divides her empty hours between her house in the Hamptons and her Manhattan apartments alone in her closet with some homeless cat she photogs to near death before dumping her discards onto pigeon foster families.

Miss Nobody appeared on the Maxim magazine website when she was recently named something like #98 out of #100 hot women, when Stern paid for that piece of shit publicity. Years ago she was on their website publicizing one of her weddings to Howard Stern. According to Beth they were married in August 2008 in the Hamptons with a media corporate wedding at a tourist trap restaurant in NY in October 2008. The inebriated Beth could barely stay vertical for the ceremony as she was dragged out by Stern shortly after the Jewish nuptials leaving guests to party on at the bar with free radiated fish to chomp on before grabbing their walkers and going home.

Howard Stern had the nerve
to grill Griffin over her
cheesecake photos saying they
were all photo shopped
as if his prize aged
cheese is not photo shopped
into oblivion.

Also on Monday's radio show, Howard Stern cringed and made a million horrible sounds when Kathy Griffin was talking about her flat natural breasts when she posed for some naked shots and did the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. We all can't have giant implants, Howard, like your prize nobody, that are placed too low on her man sized chest and are crooked and droopy. Where are Beth's naked photos? Oh, too many plastic surgery scars and puckers and stretch marks have to be covered up and hidden. Howard took 5,000 photos of his prize mare about four years ago and was done. He now doles them out whenever he can pay some idiot publication to print them somewhere.

According to the almost fired before she quit Kathy Griffin, on Howard Stern's dullfest satellite radio show on Monday, Kathy stated that she knows the trauma of walking a red carpet and knows Beth is tired of being asked about "Maxim" and is known for other things now. Oh poor Beth! Yes, when the dolt can score a red carpet appearance, how? By buying a movie ticket, that's how, she is never invited on any red carpet, and Kathy has to kiss Stern ass or she will not be the new neverending old lady guest to take the place of the deceased Joan Rivers.

The unemployable dolt hogged a red carpet with her husband Howard Stern. The woman is not on America's Got Talent, she is no part of the show yet barges on the red carpet with her overly long torso and short legs and dick showing so Stern can show he's married and not a closeted homophobic cross dresser who obsesses about celebrities nonstop and wished he was famous for something other than being an idiot.

Not for the squeamish, I know,
yet nobody has seen Beth in a candid photo
in a bikini on the beach; she covers up
and hides her massive tree truck legs
and fat ass from the public's view.

Oh, and poor whiny Kathy who harped and harped on how great she is, and how on Fashion Police she was begging producers to post a photo of Meryl Streep from the Oscars since she is a mature woman, talented and looked gorgeous on the red carpet only to have them instead post pictures of young stars who are actually under 60 years old...my gosh. Oh, poor Kathy did not want to insult celebs! Yep, Kathie thinks she's too young [at 54] to start insulting celebrities aside from her stand up comedy act, which she claims is different as Joan's career was over so it was okay to insult celebs...gibberish, I know, but she is circling the drain as her giant facelifted hairline is retreating into oblivion.

Kathy is a pompous-assed jerk, a hagatha with a payola boyfriend who looks like he sees ghosts. We all had to suffer through another Stern interview and hear about the granny sex that Howard is so obsessed with admitting he is ALONE and not interested anymore in self pleasure, oh gee, the fun is gone since Ralphie Cirella wasn't around and Howard's lone wolf shemale wife was in the Hamptons, you know, the couple that is never apart yet Howard is always alone.

Anyone who follows Beth's Instagram
and Bianca's Furry Friends Facebook can
plainly see Beth dumps her phony
foster cats onto the same families who have to find
these kittens a home somewhere in the black hole
of phony animal shelter gimmicks.

Well Miss Loser is back in Manhattan after dumping another cat on the same foster family as documented on her Instagram site, for any dolt who is interested, you can check for yourself, as I have long said, she is using the same families over and over because, why? Beth is a fake and a phony, she has nothing to justify badgering the public for dough to fund an invisible addition to a building to house a bunch of homeless cats at the charity that pays her salary, the North Shore Animal League (NSAL), where rich aged hags dump their unwanted inbred animals, you know, when Princess Purebred gets out of the mansion and mates with the neighbor's cross bred nothing, what to do with the litter? Oh, call NSAL.

No more "Ringo-isms" that John Lennon
and McCartney could make into real songs.

This has-been never seems to go way, as Ringo Starr is back performing dragging along Barbara Bach with the giant pot-shaped head, as we love finding her old modeling photos from, when? Try 1965, as we sit and cackle about her fake age she told Ringo when she snagged him years ago with her one moment of fame as a Bond girl. So, she got the stupid Beatle, not the brainy talented one [Yoko got the best one], not the plagiarist, not the one that is still writing 3rd grader songs [Wonderful Christmastime (?)], but a Beatle is a Beatle, can't argue with that. Her career was going nowhere and she needed to score a dope, or a doper, whichever came first.

17? How about 21.

Is it finally Beth Tuesday? She is in town with the big phony foster cat as Howard Stern pretends to have sex with the wife as we try for phony baby #5 and prove his wife is still young and fertile at 45 years old and not an aged hagatha who chose nothing over nothing but settling with a famous idiot on the radio; well it was either Stern or nothing, and Beth got both.