Wishful Thinking

Howard Stern's mirror sticker

Howard Stern delighted his fantasy world audience on Tuesday's satellite radio show with an almost non-story about his wife, confirming again the woman has a drinking problem where she announced to Stern at some dinner they had somewhere [no doubt having that goddamned pasta and shrimp that Howard eats all the time with the pot belly]...that she is a vegetarian only to gobble down his fish plate at lunch the following day....oh, sure it wasn't that stale xmas party at that gawd awful "Lure" seafood bar, Howard, or didn't you get all the pages for your scripted satellite borefest?

Wow, Howard said he thought he fucked up another marriage and Beth was announcing it was over [ha ha] yet it was only his wife telling him this incredible news only to have Beth consume large amounts of fish like a seal barking for food and the waiter just dropped them into her open gaping mouth. 

Monster Man Legs & Monkey Arms

Oh, well, Beth admitted she was drinking and didn't know what she was saying. Oh, yes, on record, much? Just how much documentation do you need Howard in case the dolt lets something fly on television that embarrasses you, as if her mere presence on TV is not embarrassment enough. Don't you have spies with Beth to ensure she doesn't spout any nonsense about your closet filled with designer gown knock-offs? Or the constant payola to keep your name in the press when not one person gives a damn if you live or die? 

Let's not forget Howard trying again [how many unaired TV pilots are under his muffin top?] for a TV show of sorts, well he got Whitney Cummings her own sitcoms briefly, with one of the ideas she allegedly stole from a former boyfriend who dumped her tranny ass [not forgetting its alleged Whitney is the one who is in love with trannies and shemales], and one of her shows was canceled that featured her hideous visage, and no one watches the other show, so who knows where that sits in the garbage heap of TV sitcoms. 

Yes, Little Howard Stern never lets up hoping SYCO Entertainment will produce one of his loser ideas, well, I guess with his pay cuts from Sirius and from America's Got Talent (AGT) he feels justified in getting another TV deal out of some sucker that can be hidden among the corporate cloud of revenue and expenditure reports. Good luck, Howard, we can't wait for another one of your failures to get kicked off TV in record time.

Oh, while we are all waiting to see if Heidi Klum has time to show up at the judges' table on AGT, her modeling and endorsement jobs are piling up. She's the face for Macy's, INC fashion line with who?? OMG, gorgeous Angel Gabriel while Stern's stooge wife sits around wondering what the word "vegetarian" means. She might also want to look up the meaning of the word "model".

The gorgeous pair will premier in Macy's ad campaigns on billboards across the nation and in stores beginning March 2015.

Sorry I never heard of the failed SNL jerk J.B. Smoove, who was a guest on Tuesday's Stern show, who managed a giant rip off of Jon Favreau's show called "Dinner For Five" featuring various celebrities having dinner and talking films. J.B.'s so upset about his material being ripped off, he never mentioned Favreau's original version that he ripped off and started in 2013 with no fanfare. For those who suffered through another interview that would never end, you heard the boring J.B. Smoove talk nonstop about how all his failures in life led to his part on the Larry David Show and is sad David wants to end the show and his steady paychecks. 

Now, all that could have been said in one minute instead of that two hour borefest interview but it's because Howard has nothing to do anyway, his phone ain't ringin' unless it's Beth announcing once again she is a vegetarian while swallowing live goldfish and balancing on a tabletop taking selfies and sending them to her tax agent to prove she is a stay-at-home feral kitten foster mom.



Let's not forget February 3 was Miss Thyroid's birthday, just how OLD is the wigged wonder with the bulging eyes? Any baby news yet? Well, I am sure some Lemonese concubines can come up with a suitable heir to the Clooney group home rental mansion on Lake Como but we think that Middle East fortune can buy and sell Clooney, but what else can these two do? One that isn't really a girl and one who has a boyfriend, right? Gossip, gossip....I hate gossip, but they both found fame and fortune in each others lap-bands, good for them.

I'm sure Audrey never imagined a face like Beth's or she would not have said those words.