First Ever Bogus Hair Award Goes To...

Stern wins Best In Wig and Fake Teeth over
other celebs who have to pretend to care. Yes, these
are actual contestants at the Grooming Lounge
hair salon in D.C.

....Howard Stern, whose agent has hit rock bottom with keeping the prize idiot in the press since his summer filler show doesn't start until, well, summer. 

The idiot's wife doesn't have a job until, well, probably summer, when she will start up again with getting work because her husband will be back on television and start with the Howard plugola as they both fight to stay in the press since they don't do anything and nobody is hiring them to do anything. That photo left, looks like the lineup at a gay escort service but it's a group of men [we think they're all men] that Howard beat in a paid poll of hairstylists working for "The Grooming Lounge" located online and in the DC and CIA HQ areas, as having the best hair.

Stern is scrounging for publicity until the summertime when America's Got Talent (AGT) starts up again so we can expect some appearances in lines for local movies, some restaurant sightings or see Beth attending some bogus charity events escorted by some paid babysitter who tries to keep her vertical for at least two hours at a time so Howard's paid photogs can get their shots of Beth's tax-write off outfits and posted on the media sites.

Beth The Pig model posing in a wedding veil and wearing a
 wedding band as she is reenacting the actual photo Clooney
 did with his pet pig before it went to pig heaven.

Mr. Nose Job with
the blue contact lenses conducted
a poll of his hair
stylists who selected Stern as
having the best hair just
when Howard Stern is out of
work until the summer and needs
some bogus press item.
[groominglounge.com/blog/]

Yes, the ratings killer Howard Stern gets some extra clicks and free publicity for a website no one has heard of to advertise their male spas and products when the site's founder & blogger looks like a shaved Pekingese with a hair system all his own. 
[www.groominglounge.com]
.

Howard also beat this guy, QuestLove of Jimmy Fallon's Tonight Show Band, The Roots [how appropriate]. 

Brand got a few votes but Howard was the winner. 
Brand has the same hair system as Stern but flattens it. 
Howard likes the woman's bouffant look.

Howard prefers the woman's permed wig weave glued to his hair, with the hair
transplanted on top [he wore a hat the entire year of 2011 desperate for the
transplants to take root and not fall out]. He looks like he's taking female
hormones, wearing tons of pancake makeup and women's earrings to prevent
prostate cancer. Will he play Bruce Jenner's mother in an upcoming scripted
television show he claims to be working on? 

Three versions of the Clooney. Yes, Stern beat Clooney too in the lineup of cool hair systems. The stylists on that suspect Grooming Lounge main website [which was suddenly shut down due to maintenance issues] have locations around DC and CIA HQ and I will not mention the connection with that hair transplanted Justin Theroux, whose mommy has worked for the WA Post forever and who has deep roots with deep throat and oh, Howard just finished up a bogus vacation with Theroux [et al] in Cabo. So I am sure there is no connection here with throwing Howard a bone with getting some hilarious bogus free press about his obvious giant hair transplant and weaved permed wig with Theroux's DC connections....[the long rumored married couple of Aniston & Theroux are haggling over an alleged pre-nup to exclude Theroux from getting any of the profits from the airing of "Friends" on Netflix. Hey Aniston, you married the guy too soon, only last year, right? Suddenly you caught your error. Too bad, keep spinning you aren't really legally married].

Oh yes, that website we have never heard of that came up with this first ever little Howard Stern award but the stylists working for the website didn't like the short hair transplant look with the recent hair system Clooney has been sporting for several years.

George Clooney was the only 7th grader with a hair system.

As George matured he started wearing barrettes in his hair 
and was badly in need of a nose job. Both issues were 
resolved before starting his TV career.

Since Howard has been broadcasting into outer space on a satellite, this blogger conducted a survey asking the question "On which planets are Howard and Beth Stern famous?" Mars, Jupiter, Uranus, Venus, Mercury, Saturn and Pluto were sent a signal via several Sirius satellites asking them to respond to the survey by turning on their super high beam laser spotlights and keep them on for one hour to signify that the Sterns are famous on their planet.

Here are the results of that survey - anyone? 

Anyone out there who listens to the Stern satellite radio show?

Hope springs eternal Howard. Maybe one day you will

be famous outside a radio and outside New York.