Welcome To The Jungle

Birdman was a big Oscar winner on Sunday, with two major awards for Best Director and Best Picture for 2015 [it won for other stuff too] and we wonder if Michael Keaton will ever grant Howard Stern an interview so he can talk about the stellar film, even though Michael lost out on the Best Actor award to a long time seasoned British actor who has been in tons of stuff and has been winning awards both in Hollywood and in the UK, so, I mean, old man Keaton didn't have a chance in that category.

Neil Patrick Harris won an undeserved Tony in 2014
for "Hedwig and the Angry Inch". He sucked.

The gay host of the Oscars, Doogie Howser, raised blood pressures and we hope Howard Stern had Ralph Cirella [his long time partner and personal stylist] on hand to dowse him with a giant ice bucket to calm the old man down. Howard's buddy in the closet Bradley Coop failed to take home an Oscar yet again. Oh, well, keep appearing on old man Stern's satellite radio talk show Brad, maybe one day it will help you get that coveted golden statue instead of just the golden handshake.

Doogie at the Oscars portraying a scene from "Birdman" wow, triple A+ right? 
Calm down Howard, or is he Ralphie Boy's crush?

Of course Oprah Winfrey was there as one of the producers [with a brief acting role] of Selma, and she received a Lego Oscar which is almost as good as the real thing. She was a major player getting the invite to the Elton John AIDS Foundation Annual Post-Oscar party in Hollywood.

Aniston was a presenter at the Oscars on Sunday and she and her
hair system hubby attended the Vanity Fair Oscar after-party where they
 hobnobbed with fellow alleged scientologists.

Full wigged Xenu superman Travolta was also a presenter at the Oscars and was also seen with his wife at the Vanity Fair post-Oscar party. Notice the secret scientology thumb signal that Howard Stern loves to mimic in some of his photos for the paparazzi.

Nicole tries to hang onto her wig as she trotted on the red carpet at the Oscars. 
Since the sudden unexpected doorknob death of L'Wren Scott, 
Nicole's fashion designer friend, she has been having a hard time
coming up with awful dresses for her red carpet appearances so this
dress was a disappointment. Not much to say but at least her legs are
not sized monster like Beth O'Stern who could never get away with wearing a dress like this.

Of course Nicole brought her cute son to the Oscars. The scientologsts
must have had a sale at the Celebrity Center on full metal wigs.

Gosh, wonder why Nick
Cannon got divorced.
But his stunt on
America's Got Talent
earned him a big thumbs
up by the straightest man in the
world, Howard Stern who
amazingly is married to
the straightest man
in the world.

Miss Bethie O'Nobody was MIA as usual during the Oscar broadcast as we know hubby was already back in the big city snuggled on his enormous sofa under a knit blanket [a gift from mom] with Ralph critiquing the Oscars and helping Howard write a hilarious bit about the Oscars for his stale satellite radio show.

And why weren't the Sterns at the Oscar after-parties? Because they don't have one red cent that is theirs to spend to get their flabby asses to LA, besides that, Howard thinks he has a big radio show to do, as if it matters where he broadcasts that dullfest from, either from his private surgery center bed or when he manages to show up in person in the studio and stay vertical for four hours before going into his little office for a weirdo nap as many persons under self hypnosis have to do, aside from the fact we don't know what Dr. Feelgood prescribes to keep the old man going before crashing on a couch then meeting with some "teacher" to learn how to hide from his wife while doing crappy artwork.

So, who else attended the Oscar after-parties? Oh, just superstar Heidi Klum, who is really in demand right now.

Heidi attended the Elton John AIDS Foundation
 Oscar after-party in LA, 2/22/15.

Who else was at Elton's party? Hilarious Baldwin is expecting another bizarre Martian baby along with Alec of course, the lovers are never far apart, unlike another couple we know who are always apart, but that's the way the boss-man Stern wants it, so Bethie, take it or leave it, and we know you would get zero covers of those crappy Hamptons magazines that sit in real estate offices scaring customers away if you don't follow stern orders.

Last but never least, bright eyed Amanda Peet of course was there and attended the Vanity Fair post-Oscar party

Oh, right, the best outfit award goes to a favorite of Howard Stern, Sia who is not 48 years old and is not trying to copy Lady Gaga and who did not have a facelift mishap:

Recording artist Sia hides her age at the Vanity Fair Oscar after-party 2/22/15.

#sia #oscars #peet #aniston #cooper