Jelly Fish

I think all that Howard Stern's outer space audience heard on Monday's satellite radio show was how jealous Howard is of everyone in Hollywood and everyone who got to go to the Oscar ceremony in Los Angeles. Where were Howard and Beth? Sitting home circling their respective drains. Nope, Howard did not let the hair bit clog his drain and received his hair system award on Monday's satellite radio show. 

The audio clip of Howard accepting his hair award is posted on the Grooming Lounge website. So, did Howard buy the company? A bogus award for a bunch of bogus hair growing on top of the crown of the king of all stupid skits for his dismal talk radio show.

So what about Beth's clogged drain? Well, she is still freakin' out over a grown feral cat she doesn't want to be stuck with, one that is not a purebred anything while she keeps posting odd video of the cat carrying around a toy "Ralphie the Rat" who we think is Howard Stern's longtime companion, Ralph Cirella. Oh, Bethie, calm down, you should be used to posting nothing on your Instagram site everyday, since you have no life and married a D List fired radio DJ who found a home orbiting the earth on a satellite, face it, you are done.

Beth keeps posting this same stale video of her feral foster cat she has dumped back onto the North Shore Animal League to find it a home. Beth has no time, she is a selfie superstar getting tons of botox injections so she is camera phone ready at all times.

No fug Sterns allowed to mess up
American Idol's cute judges table.
Wow, the three judges are super
photogenic.

Howard expressed his dislike of J Lo on his radio show on Monday, revealing his jealousy of her and her big life, who I think did not rely on any radio DJ to get ahead in show business like Bethie O'Nobody. Oh we know she dated a Wayans brother, but hey, that whole family has clout in show business, I mean Beth is stupid and unmarketable, everyone has their own opinions but obviously J Lo was marketable, and remains so, as she keeps getting movie roles aside from being a star on a Fall TV show, American Idol, which Howard wanted to be on to replace Simon Cowell, and we know how that went. But Howard thought with his clout on a random satellite floating in space he could pick and choose his TV jobs, so now you understand what we are dealing with, a dimwitted bulb that needs to be replaced.

So on to America's Got Talent where producers had to crowd the table with two female celebs Heidi Klum and Mel B, to boost ratings which again sent Stern further into orbit. The jerk should start meditating on something called, be thankful for what you have since you have no talent and no one can figure out why you still have a job anywhere near celebrities.

Just to make Howard madder than he already is, here are a few more photos from the Oscar parties on Sunday:

The Baldwins at Elton John's Oscar party. Yes, this selfish couple are devoting their time to lovemaking and having human babies, how horrible is that? Howard and Beth are pretending to foster a few feral cats before dumping them onto real foster homes and they want a Pulitzer Peace Prize for being great humanitarians.

After the Oscar ceremony J Lo let down her hair [literally] for the Vanity Fair party. Howard thinks he has the same credentials as Jennifer Lopez? Well he can't fill out a gown like her, that's for sure. Howard hates to be ignored by superstars, and Jenny hit the "ignore" button on Stern and his stale satellite show. 

Can Howard stand it? Superstar Heidi with her billionaire boy toy at the Elton John Oscar party. Oh my gosh, will Heidi ever adopt a feral cat and have a constant loop on Instagram of the animal running around with a toy rat? Beth is superior, she has her little iPhone selfie photo studio and sits and stews; wow, I'm jelly now.

Who else was at Elton's Oscar party? Only Christian Louboutin himself with the signature red soles. And what happened to Beth's Louboutins? In the Loubou-trash? Her monster feet can no longer fit into the custom shoes that she had made for her, what with all her falling down stairs, tripping over all those little carpets all over her houses, and when she comes flying out of the bathrooms at snooty Hamptons eateries. Beth can hardly afford the clothes and shoes she recycles now, let alone getting fitted for more Louboutins. Plus, Beth is on a fixed income, and I think we are reading her new Louboutins, it's called "Yoda, a cat and his kittens".

Howard supported the bratty
mushed faced botoxed daughter
 of Howard's adopted mom
Joan Rivers, in that Joan
should have been a part of
the Oscar broadcast instead
of just thrown on their
website "In Memoriam".

Then on Monday's show Howard Stern had the nerve to bring up Joan Rivers and Oscars in the same breath? A fug comedian who had to finance her own movies, two that I know of, one was a bizarre TV movie another one was a massive bomb called "Rabbit Test" with Billy Crystal. Why did the Oscar ceremony ignore the dead Rivers Styx? Howard really needed to know? Did that dismal documentary movie about Joan Rivers "A Piece of Work" (2010) deserve an Oscar ceremony mention because Rivers died last year? The movie grossed just over $160,000 in its opening weekend, that's called a bomb. Howard needs to stop crying and complaining, his jealousy knows no bounds. He and Rivers are not a part of the movie industry. If anything, Rivers and Howard owe the industry money for their massive bombs in the theaters, Howard being a one-no-hit wonder and Joan was paid to go away.

Little Howie Stern loves Broadway and
raced to see Larry David's stage play.
Sure he didn't go with "Beth"
meaning his eldest daughter
who often covers for Stern
in all his solo activities around
the naked city?

Well, Hollywood and Broadway don't mix as the Tony awarding winning actor Neil Patrick Harris sunk Oscar ratings this year, the lowest in seven years, while Howard was running to Broadway to see Larry David's play as Howard is now a Big White Way investor, right? Howard keeps kissin' Larry David's ass hoping he'll produce some TV show for him...gosh I don't think David is that desperate to throw his money in a sewer. Oh, and the former backstage Broadway groupie Bethie is pouting since she has zero job offers since there is no market for a plus size 45 year old delusional woman who thinks she's a model.

Wouldn't big star Stern have been there on February 2, the opening night of Larry David's play? It's still in previews, and doesn't open for critics' reviews until March, but it already grossed over $1.1 million in ticket sales.