Love Letters

The boring married old couple, Howard and Beth are doing zero while in Florida as Howard contemplates having Beth pose with the alligators, the ones that crawl up to people's homes since they get too old to hunt for food and just snack on seniors in group homes as the Sterns are sitting doing nothing in their corporate trust tax shelter house that is used to hide a million assets for at least three non earning losers in his life, in addition to his current wife who Howard married in the summer of '08 and followed it up with a corporate wedding later the same year and was married by a former male stripper from Florida. Beth could barely afford a stylist while on vacation in swamp-land and just managed to freshen up those hair extensions and throw some fresh bleach on that Special-Ed head.

Happy Valentine's Day Bethie

What did your cheapo husband get you this time? Crappy free tacky yellow gold jewelry from some bargain basement store in need of publicity? Another drawing of Howard fixing his face to look like he has a small nose and is not 65 yrs old? [All those botched nose jobs failed to reduce the size of that monster taking up residence in the center of his aged craggy face]...oh we need the big reveal by Beth of her big gift from her closeted husband on her Instagram site...oh another awesome painting by Howard the Therapy Artist so he won't kill someone while dressed as a woman? Yes, Howard takes it out on the paint brush since reality is too horrible to deal with.

Beth was staring at a wall on her working vacation [working that room of rich old bags, the ones with dead mafioso husbands who wore cement shoes wading in the ocean] and we hope Beth and Howard got a boost to their egos with the facelifts matching wits with the cadavers grazing at bogus charity events in Florida since the do-nothing hagathas think they are doing something for animals when the only animals they rescued are the ones they wear on their bald heads and parade around stuffing money in their tax shelters. 

Photo of Beth [below] was posted on Beth's Instagram 2/12/15, gosh, life in the fast lane of bogus billionaires. "Forever More" yes, she keeps talking about her man Yoda and sings that Streisand song "My Man" he is yours forever more as Beth is all in white to try and sneak past the Orderlies in her Florida Fortress of menopausal nightmares.

2013: Half-Italian Jay Leno loves that non-Italian Lois Pope and the Sterns are best friends with her too, so they really have a lot in common with Jay, who Howard calls a lowlife scumbag and oh, all sorts of horrible names and that he's a liar and cheat and stole his former employee Stuttering John away from him just as Howard was on the verge of giving John zero extra dollars in his paycheck and Howard thinks John should have stayed with him and was mad....yes, Stern said this live on television and it made no sense then and still makes no sense now.

Just about all of Lois Pope's events are held at that corporate sinkhole Mar-a-Lago, the club and resort for rich people who need an excuse for a corporate payola vacation.

Heidi Klum and her real billionaire
beau at the AmfAR benefit on 2/11/15.

What was I saying? Oh yes, while Beth stares at a wall in Florida, Heidi Klum was with her super young Trust Fund boyfriend and hobnobbing with the rich and famous [and actually with people under 70 years old] at a real charity, one Howard and Beth conveniently ran out of town to miss since they give zero of their dollars to any real charities as they have been hiding in their Florida Fortress and spa to dry out and give their bodies rest from all the liquor they can't drink due to Howard being old and Beth drying out from all those tranquilizers she takes to appear on any TV show with the gibberish she mutters it's so obvious her speech is affected as god knows what her drug of choice is to get herself on television and not be embarrassed that she is a giant moron with that bogus charity the North Shore Animal League. Oh, doesn't Bethie need courage in liquid and pill form and take a break to dry out somewhere as Howard pays off a few uniformed persons to bring the wife back home and avoid that embarrassing mug shot that always appears on TMZ?

Brookie took a break from telling everyone her now-deceased mother was a drunk to flirt with Kenneth Cole at the AmfAR charity benefit in NY 2/11/15.

Creepy Stern friend Chris Rock attended the AmfAR benefit to flirt with girls, ha, as if he could ever dream of affording the company of Naomi Campbell. At least his fat head would make a great target for her cell phone throwing tantrums.

Split Second Saturday Gossip

Tom Cruise was ugly in his first film in 1981, the Brooke Shields movie "Endless Love" where they first met briefly as Cruise was on his way to outer space. 

He got it together for "Legend" looking pretty cute as we fast forward to Katie Holmes and Brooke having their babies at the same hospital on the same day; oh the recruitment of Brooke has been a long and hard journey with alleged rumors and gossip that an alien had a contract out on our Miss Brooke, but since hooking up with her Svengali, nothing much penetrates her soul as she is now looking a bit haggard on that slow walk up that hill to the big 5-0. 

A bunch of sources claim that Brooke's elevator doesn't go all the way up. She keeps her mother's ashes in a cookie jar in a glass cabinet but she didn't all fit in it and the overflow is housed in another container next to the cookie jar.  When Brooke was very young visiting her father's estate in the Hamptons with his new wife, Brooke would scream at the top of her lungs to scare the wife who would coming running into the kitchen where Brooke would ask where the spices go in the spice rack [it drove her nuts they were perfectly arranged and alphabetized; in fact the whole house drove her nuts it was in perfect order and everyone on a scheduled routine with meals served the same time each day, on the dot as Brooke ended up quite dotty herself]. 

And there you have your Saturday Gossip