Funny Farm

Ever wonder why Howard Stern is so secure in his marriage? Because his wife is loony tune and Howard keeps every scrap of evidence. Now Beth was videotaped dancing with her cat Yoda, who she claims is a rescue, but a rescue from what? 

Oh, a breeder who had a leftover reject from the cattery that most likely died and this cat Yoda is a purebred from a "rescue" breeder, a term used to describe breeders trying to rescue a breed from extinction, as if Persian cats are going extinct and need saving when thousands of cats need saving in animal shelters across the nation.

But Howard Stern as an excuse as to why they purchased a purebred bulldog [the now deceased "Bianca"] instead of adopting a dog from an animal shelter, by saying he bought the bulldog from a rescue breeder.  Oh yes, Beth is dancing for charity on her stupidgram site when no animal wants to do this, it is more disguised mini-abuse from the torture garden of Stalag Beth.


Beth posted a mini-video posted on her Instagram 2/6/15. The woman is 45 and this is not the first time she has had these displays of acting like a little girl bopping and dancing around like she has a baby. Beth posted another one when she was in a frenzy jumping up and down in between the actual filming of "Extra" TV on November 19, 2014.  Anyone can view video and photos of Beth online of her nonstop little girl bopping around and tons of posing with kitty cats in her bra and underpants like a pre-teen hooker. Does Howard have master copies in his vault of everything in his new secret digs away from the funny farm around a certain Village in NY?

Classic frozen botox smirk.

There is plenty of video and photographic evidence on the Internet that Beth doesn't have both oars in the water. Her twitching eyes, her botox frozen half smile, and talking out of the left side of her mouth and dancing on red carpets where it is difficult to get her to actually move on and let some real celebs get photographed. She is a giant horninsky, finally banned from any real events in the Hamptons, New York, Florida, and LA. She exists on shitty online magazines, most are free or offered at real estate offices in Pittsburgh or the Hamptons, magazines like "Whirl" where Howard Stern had to pay to get Bethie in the pages and on the cover, as he took most of the photos himself with his stupid damn cell phone. That's why they are all blurry and over exposed. 

Howard Stern releases thousands of phony photo shopped airbrushed photos of his wife, yet when she appears in person for a talk show, this is what you get, a spastic goober who can barely stop the facial tics:

Gael is in the Broadway
show "Honeymoon
in Vegas" with
Tony Danza.

For the 10-year anniversary of the gawd awful Pittsburgh magazine Whirl [2011] Beth did a local interview show where she named dropped a few obscure names, as we know she stalked Broadway for some time and claims her friend is Gaelen Gilliland, also from Fox Chapel, who did a few Broadway shows as Beth has always been in the background with D Listers that never made it. Beth also bragged she modeled for the now defunct department store Gimbels [closed in 1987] which is the fate of all Beth's modeling jobs and why no evidence can be found the woman ever did anything but model plus size clothes until her "suddenly thin" modeling series for FHM, post-Howard Stern shacking up.

2011 Beth still had the frantic hand movements.

But hey, Howard can afford a play acting wife, and obviously his kids are not worried when dad finally goes to wig heaven. I am sure they have tons more stuff than what finally reaches the public eye, documents, photos, video, whatever, to get the dolt out of "their" properties, good luck Bethie, you're 45 now and spinning with cats acting like you are high on something, what about 10 years from now? Still fun? As your so-called life is in full reverse and stagnate, hopping around your Hamptons Hideaway, well, better not get too moved in, we know you have stopped buying clothes, but you still love to buy furniture, which is weird, as Howard spouts on his radio show the bills he gets to furnish the new Florida mansion....furnish it for what and for whom? Oh, for Howard's Facelift Fortress where his three steptrolls will eventually have a nice place to call home in their old age, or to sell and pad their Swiss bank accounts, who knows, but Bethie had better have an exit plan if she thinks anyone will give her the time of day once the old fart meal ticket hits the big casino. 

The Seinfelds attending the Broadway
opening of the Jake Gyllenhaal play
"Constellations" with
Mrs. Seinfeld looking like an IVF
cancer victim with that
weird hair and stomach.

Page Six reported about a private dinner party with the Seinfelds, Nacho Figueras, Andrew Saffir, and the Ralph Laurens at the Polo Bar this week sans Bethie and Howard since we think most on that list have restraining orders against them that are still in effect. So to deflect, Bethie on Friday had to post a dancing video with her "rescue" [dig, dig to the posh socialite set] Yoda. We know Beth is all about rescue and could care less she is not invited to any social event or private dinners.

Oh I know, Mrs. Seinfeld ain't no prize. It has been reported by her ex-husband's family, the Nederlanders, the billionaires of Broadway, owning theaters across the US, Canada and the world, that they trashed Jessica for being a sort of golddigger. She dumped her husband Eric after five years of living together and finally consenting to marriage, only to immediately shack up with Jerry Seinfeld since she wanted that kind of fame and not as a backstage Broadway Betty. Jessie found out Eric had a string of bad debts, investments going south, and was a pretender posing as a high stakes theater owner, when it was his family who owned the theaters, his daddy being a lawyer always in court settling his son's debts. Eric reportedly had/has a horrendous temper and was arrested on various violations threatening his wife [after the Jessica divorce] and claimed it was due to male post partum depression.

Eric is divorced from his wife [above] and has another girlfriend who looks exactly like his ex wife [above].

Jerry lasted on Broadway
for five days, 10 performances.

So why on earth [in 1998] did Jerry Seinfeld try for a show on Broadway in Nederlander territory?? He's stupid. The entire clan blackballed him and his Broadway performance was panned and the show closed. Now you see why Seinfeld is doing car commercials for an online show called 'Comedians in cars getting coffee" which plugs some type of vintage car to promote a car company that sponsors and pays for the show. That's why good ol' Jerry was also stuck putting up with Howard Stern in one of the long boring episodes. Seems Jerry and that wife are tagged as a couple of opportunists with Jessica scoring some dough from her divorce and ran to the Hamptons with Jerry who finally made her famous with the phony rip-off cookbooks and charity gimmicks.

Last month, the Seinfelds showed up for this scientology playfest on opening night, when the likes of Kirstie Alley, 50 Cent, Linda Lavin, raced to see it. We wonder why Jake Gyllenhaal did not make an appearance at the Stern show to promote it? Didn't Howard pay his scientology dues yet? Well maybe he is having trouble getting Kirstie to sponsor him in the first place. 

Your room in Florida is all nice and newly furnished, Beth. It is just as you ordered.