Finally Free?

In case anyone missed it, suddenly Sirius could care less that the Stern channels are free on the web [www.sternist.com] and on YouTube and on Howard's own website where he uploaded his celebrity interview with Gwyneth Paltrow. 

Hey, how else is the aged DJ who now wears adult diapers [oh right, Howard said on his radio show that he is going around with giant tissues around his private part, it's called Depends, Howard]...yes, how else is the aged DJ on a satellite getting guests who are under 60 years old? Because they know it will be made available on the internet, not just to subscribers of a mothballed satellite service. So since Howard's crap show is no longer exclusive to subscribers, the need for a million live commercial-reads so Howard can make up the difference in his dwindling Siriusly deflated salary.

And we are all tired of Miss Drama Queen with the huge staged cancer storyline and a million health dramas prior to that, who has now broken her foot because she threw herself on the floor this week at the Stern studio because she had to haul her ass into work and was mad. Oh, I'm injured!!! Twisted ankle!! We all thought all her prior dramas were a joke, when all she is doing if falling down in her apartment banging into walls with her 50 million cases of wine that she was stuck with when her fat investment went south, and she suddenly refuses to wear her old lady glasses [oh right, she and Howard with the Lasix] and with all her rollerblading fairy tales, and tales of world travel only to be found out by the now fired newsman Steve Langford, that the fatty was flying around Arizona having a drag race with cops when she claimed to be in Thailand during a holiday break.


We all love it that the Queen Melon Head of Hollywood had to admit defeat and succumb to making the interview rounds ending up on Howard Stern's Siriusly Stale Satellite radio show plugging some loser movie of hers. I guess she finally got tired of bumping into all of her husband's girlfriends in his bedroom and was finally forced into a divorce.



We know her husband also was on the Stern show a few years ago, so somehow they need that radio exposure as well as doing the late night talk show circuit. Love it that Missy Paltrow got a dent in her wealth paying off that husband while they both get access to those loony tunes kids who hop on tables during posh dinner parties. Yes, they are as nuts as mom, who exists on cigs and wine.




So, when are Howard and Howardess going to sit in the Florida sun? Oh right, the plastic surgery freakettes hide from sunlight as Howard actually believes his plastic surgery makes him look young, as in young young, not 61 years old and his wife is not really 45 years old in spite of whatever her published age is in press items written by Stern or his paid publicity stooges.

No more browsing in the posh shops of Palm Beach? Oh, I guess Howard's second job on "America's Got Talent" is not enough to fund a staged photo shoot along the streets somewhere South of reality. I guess they both believe their phony airbrushed images that are strewn all over Beth's Hamptons Hideout as Beth keeps living in a past that never existed. 

Miss Modeling School, whose Daddy paid for all her photos modeling giant horse blankets because she was always too fat and ugly for legitimate modeling. Her face is beyond description.

Then the Howard Stern makeover when she looked like a photoshopped bucky beaver with lipo. But all he could get his 33+ year old girlfriend was FHM [now defunct in the U.S.] and Hamptons magazine, because Stern was a long time property owner in the Hamptons with the first wife, then a long time renter after the divorce until he could build a second house for the second wife and keep her on Hamptons magazine covers and other local magazines you can find in real estate offices or on newsstands in tourist locales in the East. Since everyone was sick of the Sterns horning in on an annual issue of Hamptons magazine, they have been banned pariahs, since he has accomplished nothing but being on the radio forever and a pseudo judge on a shitty reality show.

Beth was a famous
lazy eyed model.

Howard paid to airbrush
his plus sized girlfriend.

Miss Model dresses like Oprah when in daylight and photogs are around and she can't snatch the photos before publication and have them airbrushed.

Happy Thursday Dolls
And remember what Howard Stern said on his radio show this week. He changed to satellite radio because his mother told him the KRock studios were dirty. Howard said Sirius has nice clean offices; well, duh, Howard, you paid for them out of that alleged $100 million you got to build your studios aside from paying staff and maintaining two channels each year. Howard always does what that mommy inside of his head tells him to do.