"America's Got Talent" Got Stuck With Stern

SYCO pals are all in for another
loser Summer season
for NBC [do they need
 a tax loss for the quarter
or something?]

Yes, folks, as this blogger already mentioned, Howard Stern wants on television, so no way is he ever turning down America's Got Talent (AGT). 

Each year we all have to play this game with Howard as he tries to get his own late night talk show but is only offered AGT. I lost count of the number of unaired pilots Howard did, they were beyond awful, awful doesn't describe it. Howard Stern is incapable of producing show content, so AGT is tagged. 

Executives at AGT were getting a bit excited over the prospect that Howard would not accept their offer of "take it or leave it; you ain't gettin' more money and we are not adding that pariah you married to the payroll no matter how many kittens she stuffs in her bra and calls it charity work". We all know they are stuck with Stern yet again with the standard contract for loser summer filler shows at about 10 million per year/3 year deal, providing he makes it the entire length of the contract. Howard is so old he might die and then NBC would be off the hook.

Stern is scared because he knows he can be replaced in a second and a few people are being considered to replace Howard as judge on AGT due to death by facelift or if he finally disappears in the Hamptons and Beth says the last time she saw him he was thanking a seal:

Oh, but hang on, just when you thought Howard sitting on a satellite as well as sitting on a judges table with that really hard job on AGT of reading from a script wasn't exciting enough, Howard stated that he cannot reveal all of the famous people who have hit on Beth. Why you ask? Oh, I have insider information, it's called L-I-E-S. We all have to wait for the entire Hollywood industry, the Hamptons celebrity set, Broadway stars, rock stars, astronauts, football players, and basketball players to all die off and for Asia to sink into the ocean before any names can be revealed.

Nick Cannon book signing
at Barnes & Noble 12/8/14. 
Nick wrote a book about his
two children called, "Roc and
Roe's Twelve Days of 
Christmas".

We see it was the AGT kiddie book season this year and Beth and Howard were frantic trying to come up with some story of their own. Nick has some kids to write about, not like Mrs. Barren Bethie who has nothing in her life but staring at her bandaged reflection waiting for the nips and tucks to heal.

Yes, it seems Howard is the one who got a book
deal because of AGT. No wonder Howard's
giant permed wig is on the book's back cover and they
have to pretend a cat is their child; how pathetic is this? 

Beth pretends she is a cast member of AGT as Howard can't push that stomach in and it pushes that necktie through the suit gap...ease up on the Mary Jane, Howard. Just what do you call that pariah next to you? The little kitten photographer with nothing to do but bitch and yell that everyone on the planet is jealous of her while you had to haul ass and come up with a some tall tale about Yoda the Cat, who sits around doing nothing but hog cat trees all day.

Jetsetter Heidi was spotted
at LAX returning from
Miami after attending the Art Basel
event with her super young
art dealer boyfriend Vito Schnabel.

We also love it that Howard is insanely jealous of the super jetsetter Heidi Klum and the Art Basel Miami Beach annual event where Beth was the uninvited and sitting at Costco; yes I already reported on that event and that Heidi and her boyfriend were there as well as Miley and Paris. However, Howard had to report that Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton were making out at some club, oh right, Howard, everyone was in Miami for the Art Basel event, they weren't at some random club making out....HA, nobody wants to make out with that monster you married...too bad you're tagged.

Now Howard can have Sharon Osbourne back on his radio show to trash Heidi Klum and talk about how bad she is for ratings [nothing is Howard's fault even though he ignores the fact producers had to hire two women to try and boost the tanking ratings due to the hiring of Howard Stern who only brings in the old lady lesbian demographic]. Yes, poor Sharon, who has that talk show in between running from the IRS. Maybe she and Howard can trade friendship bracelets this time and we can all praise Beth for sitting on her ass taking kitten selfies.

Christian Bale, SiriusXM town hall 12/8/14
on the Entertainment Weekly Channel.

Uh-oh, another SiriusXM Town Hall where a major star ignores Howard Stern, but wait, will the whacked-out former obsession of Christopher Nolan admit his career has tanked and accept an interview with Howard? Howard's head might explode since he wishes Bale would throw him a bone and accept his offer of an intimate candlelight dinner in the Manhattan penthouse watching "Private Parts" with an envelope filled with his cash advance from AGT to hand to Christian under the table as all of Howard's deals are done.

All these people ignored the Howard Stern show and were
promoting the movie "Exodus" at the SiriusXM town hall on 12/8/14.

Christian Bale can't compare with
the perfect features of Colin Farrell

I suppose the other big budget film set in ancient biblical times wasn't a big enough bomb so Bale [who has always been jealous of Colin Farrell] has to do one of his own. We all remember the great Colin in "Alexander" with his movie mom Angelina Jolie, well, neither could save that movie. Right, as usual, let's have Bale copy Colin. Maybe next he will remake the remake of "Fright Night".

The Duchess is wearing the famous
Princess Diana ring at the game.
Beth probably would have
said the Duchess was jealous of that
Costco ring Howard bought her.

So, the royal couple, while visiting New York, must have issued a general terrorist warning banning Howard and his crazy screaming wife from coming within 30 yards of them as they enjoyed watching a basketball game on 12/8/14 at Barclays Center.

Ignored pariahs at a Knicks game last month.