Siriusly Stupid

So stupid Howard Stern is a nice guy because his pseudo lingerie model reject poses with a cat and calls it charity work? Siriusly stupid and talentless Howard & Beth need to stop pretending they give a fuck about anything but themselves and their lack of getting any work on TV or movies [I know, that's a laugh] and have resorted to using a charity and setting up their own fund at that corporate tax shelter called the North Shore Animal League.

Keep it up Howard, you will never get Beth a contract like Heidi Klum has, who was and is a real model and actually works for a living instead of taking selfies and producing junk calendars and books with her name all over them and calls it charity work. The book about Beth's phony cat Yoda is published for mentally retarded kids and adults who think the book is about a real story of a homeless cat instead of a snatched neighbor cat from a litter of purebred Persians while Beth is desperate for publicity and Howard is now a TV ratings killer and bonafide pariah who is ignored until his crappy D List reality game show comes around again in the summer when all the real shows are on hiatus.

Photo shoot obsessed Howie
out with the loser he got
suckered into buying as he
has his wig plastered down
around his pulled
back hairline.

Desperately in need of funds to pay for publicity, Howard has to empty out his satellite radio studio and sit alone talking to himself because he refuses to pay any on-air talent to sit with him and actually be relevant or interesting. Howard's paid stooge Robin Negro Quivers phones in her cackles as Howard tries to stop with the racist and sexist humor he has been living off of for the past 35 years so people will accept his moronic wife on the morning TV shows spouting something about her own foundation, which pays her salary from corporate and public donations to the Bianca Furry Friends Fund under the giant tax shelter of the North Shore Animal League. Now Howard is all about pushing his talentless dolt stupid wife with the botched breast implants onto the public, and Howard is too cheap to buy new implants for the brainless wonder, however, that may change once his private surgery center in Florida is finished.

Michael Douglas's second
wife, The SwanSea Witch. 

Howard has always been insanely jealous of Michael Douglas's second wife who won dress fights against Beth O'Nobody publicly embarrassing Bethie in the press [as if anyone knew who Beth was anyway]. Douglas also got stuck with his "Beth" who is draining his bank account and isn't going anywhere anytime soon. But at least his Beth managed to have a few kids and win an Academy Award before being thrown into a loony bin. We are still waiting for the men in the white coats with a net to capture the real Beth and throw her into her own cage like all of her snatched kittens that she throws in cages grabbing them one by one for selfies before throwing them back into their cages waiting for a real foster family to take them off her hands before they get too big for cutesy photo sessions.

Michael's first wife Diandra got a boat load, no, a cruise liner ship load of cash when he dumped her in a divorce yet Howard's first wife got a huge payday when she jumped from the sinking Stern ship heading for a voyage to the bottom of the sea.

She could only work the day
shift for Mrs. Cherry as her
contract kept being sold and
sold to different suckers.

Howard Stern? Oh he will brag on and on and on about what a great father he was, that is, before his pudgy cross eyed pseudo model moved into his penthouse apartment in Manhattan; both purchases the first wife knew nothing about until after the sales [we don't now how much there was of Beth's contract to pay off of course, but she was a final sale, no returns or exchanges accepted]. Howard also brags about being a super dad to his kids, yet what has he actually done? Well, great dad Stern seemed to produce a bunch of spoiled brats with no talent at anything but spending daddy's money [which is also what his second wife is doing and Howard is in a creepy warped fantasy world that he is a daddy to a 45 year old dullard with crossed eyes and a mean right hook]. It was probably a good thing Howard's eldest creation, the literary genius, Emily The High Priestess of the Virtual Sabbath, was born of the Jewish faith since I don't think there exists an Irish Journal that would automatically publish her crappy poetry. 

And what has Howard and Beth produced other than hilarious photos of their facelifts and donating paper to charity [no, not money, crappy calendars and books]. Speaking of Superstar Bethie, she is a lethal combination of mean and stupid, heaven help us if she is ever successful at keeping alive whatever is in the lab in her Hamptons Hell Hole. For now, they seem to be dying off one by one as she has a Viking funeral for them in the Atlantic Ocean.

Beth, who has never owned any animals other than lab hamsters in a cage, thinks this is Yoda "fathering" a kitten when it's Yoda hogging a cat tree trying to push the kitten onto the floor. 

Siriusly Disturbed Howard will start to publish these selfies on the Internet when he can no longer contain his private image and can no longer face facts that he never married a child bride but married the Barfly Bride of Frankenstein; go for it Stern, the selfie twins in action will make a good made for TV movie one day. The older Beth gets, the younger she will look in the Stern-produced selfie studio.