The Surprise Eulogist

Howard can go back into his little shell again and wait for another celebrity to die in NY so he can be the star performer and deliver a eulogy nobody asked him to do.

According to today's Howard Stern satellite radio show, he was the star of the Joan Rivers' funeral, he was the focus, he was the big cheese, only he was never placed on the funeral program. Why is that? Oh, because that was a "surprise" that Melissa requested, okay, who delivers surprise eulogies? Is that a real job? Did Howard just create a niche for himself? Yes, as a Surprise Eulogist.

Harry Cohn was considered a monster; therefore the
joke by Skelton. I won't comment on why so
many people turned out for Rivers' memorial service.

In reality, nobody was looking for Howard Stern. He had to call up Melissa's people and get his name on the invitation-only guest list and parade around the block of the synagogue to get himself and his bleached beard in full camera view and horn in on the eulogy so he could give his resume and history to the media moguls in attendance and get the funeral tape to show as an audition tape for all the shows he is constantly trying to horn in on and to provide to Simon Cowell to show him how relevant and hilarious he is...how pathetic.

Looks like Joan was late for
her own memorial service.

Oh, but we are not done, because then Howard has the nerve to issue a bunch of press releases about how great he was at the Joan Rivers' funeral, how amazing his speech was, how it was all about Howard and his emotional cracked speech desperate to cry but he could never form tears except in private in front of his wife, who does not live with him. Howard lives in NY, Bethie lives out in the Hamptons. They admit to communicating via Twitter and texting. 

This memorial service was huge to Stern who is desperate to have a job for the next twenty years of his life so he had to come up with a speech to impress all the celebrities in attendance, hey, maybe the E Channel will hire him back since there is now a vacancy. Howard knows he is set to die on an operating table from a plastic surgery procedure gone awry that he will not admit to having as his face gets more pulled back with the makeup and earrings and plops that girly wig on his head.

Howard is not relevant, he is ignored and will never be on any Fall season TV show, he is a giant nothing, so he had to phone up Melissa, who [I believe] has only graced Stern's radio studio one time barely able to suffer through his constant bragging about himself and that ugly clodhopper he married.

Watch out folks, after the memorial service was over, the bitch was being escorted out by Stern and shipped back to the Hamptons while Stern ran back to his private penthouse to huddle with his publicity team and dream about Hugh Jackman, who Howard couldn't stop talking about after he performed at the memorial service, even having the nerve to send him a "note", omg, it is so hard when you are good looking like Jackman and have to be subjected to old queens and their lustful unfulfilled desires.

Jackman rode his bicycle to the Rivers' memorial
probably to hide out from Howard Stern and sneak into the service.