The IT Girls

So what, a few famous girls are seen sans clothing on the Internet because their phones were hacked [cough, cough]. Do we care? No, but they can feign all the anger they want because celebs are hungry for publicity. They are mad because they are getting zero dollars for the photos that are splashed all over the Internet free of charge to anyone who cares to look.

Miss Jennifer Lawrence the falling down dope is all miffed that she stored naked photos of herself on the Cloud only to have a bunch of people stare at them and those, and whatever, showing off her stellar results from her alleged stint at a rehab facility where she dumped the booze and a few pounds.

Beth has the opposite problem, in that people are asking to NOT see all her freakish bikini photos, and that is after Howard has airbrushed them to death only resulting in bizarre fuzzy photos of his sexually shy vague wife.

Beth is too busy to leak naked photos of herself. She has to show off her cat with the plagiarized name of "Yoda" and what he will look like dead. Yes, she is obsessed with handing out dead cat stuffed toys of Yoda [both Yoda and the dead Yoda toy are shown above]. Beth is working on a ghost-written childrens story about Yoda and how he is dying of a heart condition and will hand out dead Yoda's with each book. She is insane with death and animals dying, as she incinerated her bulldog Bianca and proudly poses in front of the urn placed in her bedroom in her Hamptons Empty Nest.

So where is our prize "it" girl in all this naked controversy? Beth covers up and hides terrified of showing it all since we don't exactly know what it has to show, but she sure covers it up likes it's worth a trillion dollars. Well, maybe it is. We are not even sure if Howard has seen Beth sans clothing, he probably is too frightened at the prospect as he is more comfortable walking around without clothes himself admiring his reflection in his all-mirrored bathroom in his private penthouse in New York.

Photo dated 9/2/14 from Beth's Instagram.
Step and Repeat Beth keeps wearing the same
old dresses over and over. This dress was
worn by Lindsay Lohan, when she appeared
on the David Letterman show a million yrs ago
and she is half the size of huge Beth. But
maybe Beth can get into some more
dress fights and it will give her
a big orgasm as she blabs across country
to her brothers about how famous she is and
they can live for the day they can hoist her
up in their arms again for more family selfies.

Speaking of which, Beth loves her reflection and fans know she constantly stuffs herself into the same outfits all the time. It is obvious she has a limited amount of clothing kept in Howard's private man cave in Manhattan where Howard bought her an adjoining Mom Cave Closet. So she has to recycle the garbage knock off designer discount bargain basement clothes time and again, plus, hopes to get some press because she also has a full time job of copying celebrities. Beth jumps in front of cameras just so Howard can submit the photo to a tabloid or some online paper to get wifey into print somewhere, somehow, so he can pretend he married a celebrity instead of an aging nobody that is busting out of her seams.

Other it girls seem to be struggling with their own identities as with their bizarre bodies. It was reported by Cher's ex-manager that she didn't care that Chastity changed to Chaz, only that Chaz was fat. Pretty funny since Cher has had her fat moments since turning the age of old with her dismal last tour that even her long time clothing designer Bob Mackie refused to do; he could tell when it is time to throw in the towel with some clients.

Cher's last concert tour was a disaster featuring her less than perfect body in an array of crappy outfits.

And this it girl just goes from bad to worse with her freakish proportions; she looks like a giant Beth with all the excess weight and floating implants.

Thanks to these two ladies, Howard got a fathead deeming himself the pretty one of the bunch; and with Beth alongside, Howard still holds the crown.

Beth will also be selling Beth Dolls along with dead Yoda stuffed animal toys with her upcoming childrens book about her soon-to-be-dead cat, Yoda.

As we think about Joan Rivers and her last breath, we remember Melissa Rivers wedding to Mr. Endicott and that stupid dress she wore only to have the marriage end in divorce. It was reported the ex hubby raced to New York to ensure the safety of his son and that Joan's health drama is not a publicity stunt for Joan & Melissa's reality show.

Don't choke yet, Beth Fans, don't go racing to any closets, there is more to come; like, you know, how could Robin Williams swing from a 5 ft belt and be found in almost full rigor in a seated position with no chair to be found? How will anyone explain how a medicated and frail man who was sleeping 18 - 20 hours per day have the strength to hang himself? What about the original report from TMZ that the Personal Assistant knocked on the front door, getting no response, knocked on the WINDOW and when no one answered, she entered the room and found Williams in a "suicide attempt" according to a Marin County dispatcher. And what was carved on his left wrist with a pocket knife that was found snapped shut? Why not ask the alleged cultist Oh Susana?