As I Lay Dying

As Howard Stern's long time friend and champion, Joan Rivers, lies at death's door in a hospital slowly being taken off life support, Beth looks like an insane clown jumping in front of cameras at a stupid horse show in the Hamptons.

August 31, 2014, Beth O'Horsky at the Hamptons Classic Horse Show. That roof doesn't look too safe, Beth, better keep that hat pushed down on your giant football head. Beth is an old lady terrified of the sun and light and has to hide her latest round of botox and filler on that aging face. Docs had better stand by in case she has a giant reaction to all that stuff injected into that face.

Joan already looked like a stroke victim
with her bizarre puffy face pulled every which way
barely able to open her right eye. Melissa looks
like Beth now, with that drawn back upper lip tightly
swollen with botox to hide that giant mouth
and giant teeth. 

Joan Rivers had always put Howard Stern on her own talk show, always promoted the big jerk even when he lost a ton of money financing "Private Parts" and Melissa Rivers emceed the premiere for the E Channel cable network. Yes, Joan was there even when Howard had to give up a reported $90 million to his exwife in a giant divorce attempting to hide it from the public so he could move in his giant discovery of a 5'7" fat 30 year old "model" into his penthouse apartment in New York when Joan Rivers kept promoting him and saying he would survive his divorce by creating a new persona for the radio. And that he did, a giant asshole persona as an aged divorced jerk whose wife had to cash in and dump the bum before he lost anymore money financing his stupid ventures.

Yes, Bethie, yuck it up as you hope Howard's plastic surgery appointments and weird health problems that give him the look of a female Marty Allen will soon pay off as you ponder what will happen when Howard's SiriusXM budget dwindles to nothing as he continues to plug "America's Got Talent" for the next nine months of monotonous satellite radio.

Beth's house is filled with
photos of herself and kitten
props that feed her need for
airbrushed photos of herself
that erase the features
of her aging face.

Yes, Bethie, yuck it up as Howard's three MENSA member grown kids gobble up whatever remaining fortune Stern has that he hasn't burnt up trying to finance your little Instagram career of harassing kittens and writing childrens books forcing the North Shore Animal League to unload them onto the school system as you insert yourself into the world of real moms with kids as you are surrounded by dozens of photos of yourself in your perfect barren Hamptons Hideaway.

Wonder why Howard doesn't show this selfie hanging in his iPhone photo gallery in his private man cave in Manhattan?