Escape From Stalag Beth

POWs from Stalag Beth await the new arrival
of captured kittens.

As Beth stocks her labor camp with more and more kittens, we wonder if they will ever be freed by American Troops. Beth has been running her labor camp since about 2010, when she had her captured bulldog Bianca commandeered from Howard's daughter Ashely, enlisted in Beth's labor camp that she had uses for commercial purposes. 

In fact, no animal is allowed on the premises of Beth's prison camp unless they are useful in some way to serve her bizarre need to have her picture taken everyday, as well as get her face on every morning TV show known to the American public. How this camp has continued to flourish is suspect, however, Beth could easily set up her stone walls and prison basement to ensure nothing escapes her clutches, and nobody breaks in to free the prisoners.

SS Beth photographs herself every day and night. On her webcam/instagram security system, she documents that her feline prisoners are fed yet have to share beds. The captured kittens are subjected to constant blinding flashes of a camera and are routinely snatched away in the middle of the night for a photo shoot, barely able to sleep and eat in peace without the intrusion of cameras as Beth snaps away in a photographic frenzy using her animal prisoners to make her famous.

In 2010, Beth's dog Bianca was used as a prop for Beth's plagiaristic endeavour called "Oh My Dog", which consisted of copied information available on the Internet. It was co-written by some relationship expert having zero to do with animals. Beth is employed by a corporation, and the North Shore Animal League (NSAL) has always been sponsored by a corporation, most recently by SiriusXM, and Howard Stern places constant ads for NSAL on his website and constant ads for his head matron Beth, who he has been pushing onto the public for over 10 years.

But Beth gets mad and jealous of Howard's family, so suddenly Ashley's dog was incinerated before Ashley could say goodbye. When Howard was in New York and Beth was in the Hamptons where she lives, she announced to Howard that the dog was gone, died, and cremated within hours of its death. Was Howard feigning tears on his satellite radio show? Or did he really feel something through that patchy wig and dwindling bank account at the death of his dog that he bought for his youngest daughter so she could have company during her court ordered stays with Stern during the work week. Bianca the bulldog was selected by Howard from a professional dog breeder, yet Beth stated she selected the dog with Howard to act as their child. Beth was scrambling at coming up with anything that could portray them as lovebirds selecting a baby, an animal baby. Well, since everyone doubts Mrs. Doubtfire can get pregnant anyway, Howard needed a new storyline of how Bianca was acquired, so the daughter angle was dropped and Beth was inserted. Howard stated on the air that he notified his daughter, but neither he or Ashley could make it out to the Hamptons in time to stop Beth from having their dog killed by lethal injection.

Beth has acquired a new prop, this time a purebred Persian cat with a plagiarized name "Yoda". Can Beth ever do anything without stealing it first and claiming it as her own? If the bratty barfly can't get what she wants, she just steals it. Now we've got another book out of the Prison Camp Beth, about her kitty cat, and the public will be subjected to massive selfies of fathead frau Beth. We know this fall she is expected to dump her latest batch of kitten POWs onto NSAL who hopefully can stage some homes to take the cats while Beth stages more photo shoots claiming victory at placing the cats onto unsuspecting pigeons. If a captured cat is not photogenic or doesn't have a deformity she can market, that cat is slung out with the trash and her minions have to deliver it to Beth's headquarters at the North Shore Animal League. There is hell to pay if they don't snatch enough kittens from neighbors or off the streets as many have witnessed the flip side of Beth when she is not in front of a camera.

#bianca #stalagbeth #howardstern #bff #nsal #yoda