Dips & Dives

Looking for Howard Stern? He was a giant dip on Wednesday night managing to just about tie with CBS in the ratings race with that dippy show America's Got Talent (AGT).

Howard Stern is filmed in the dark with CGI effects to hide the fact he is SIXTY and facing a golden parachute as he judges a Snapple infomercial for NBC and manages to keep afloat after taking a dive being shipped off to pay radio which is a corporate hive of busy bees so the Stern show can do no damage to the bottom line of total subscribers.

Since Howard is an expert on the past, knowing how everyone on the planet found their wives except for Beth [dates keep changing on that one], when Howard was on his 30 day tear desperate to get free of Bulldog Bethie, I wonder why he didn't end up with his former girlfriend, who had a major crush on Stern and it was common knowledge "back in the day" he fooled around while married with good ol' Sally. I say fooled around, since Howard can produce nothing outside of 112 Productions and half the reason Beth has failed in the bedroom to deliver anything but tall tales.

God knows Sally is Howard's type. The giant blonde wig, wide apart cavernous breast implants, and the red lipstick; she totally looks like Beth.

There might be hope yet for our porky princess with Pirelli, isn't that a tire company? Howard sports a spare tire hidden under those oversized clown suits he wears on AGT, so maybe Beth has a shot at a calendar sans animals for 2015, which is her dream come true since her prior calendars are still sitting in the Stern Archival Gallery in the Hamptons while Beth's personal website has been abandoned since she failed to sell anything. 

Beth did a phone call interview from Germany with a Pittsburgh paper
yet we haven't yet found those European modeling photos and 
Beth won't print any of them herself to show her fan.