What Animal Will Make Beth Famous?

Beth tried being a real model first, appearing in FHM and Hamptons Magazine, but was a dismal failure, having bankrupted the U.S. Edition of FHM forcing it to shut down. So what did Howard Stern do? He asked his former buddy Mel Karmazin to help, and he thought the only safe thing was to get her involved in a charity. But, cancer kids don't make a good topic for calendars, and Beth can't continue to be photographed with dying kids, but no matter what the disease is they have, it still isn't good calendar material. Well, maybe wheelchair kids might be okay, but nobody wants a calendar like that hanging in their kitchens. So what to do? Well, how about that rich persons charity in the Hamptons, where inbred animals are dumped and all the homeless unwanted animals end up to keep the Hamptons clean, yes, the North Shore Animal League (NSAL).


So, thus the transformation from sole camera hog to sharing the spotlight with homeless kitty cats. But now, on Beth's Insta-Idiot site, she claims everyone hates cats so she is forced to post bizarre bikini photos of herself that supposedly will appease cat haters [what?]. So cat haters love Beth in a bikini? 

Beth was such a devoted animal lover, she first tried to make herself famous without them...Mastercard anyone? The company had to pull the ads from television screens faster than people could cancel their credit cards. Howard Stern's dolt was getting flagged across the country as a prized overweight heifer with Miss America bleached hat hair. Not exactly what Stern wanted; she was hardly the supermodel Stern tried to foist onto his radio listeners.

Well, bottom line is, cats have failed to make Beth famous, so what animals are left? How about Beth starting a charity for extinct animals, like her husband?