Strategic Air Command

For the first time ever, Beth was secretly shuttled out of New York to Los Angeles, and Howard Stern failed to address what happened, until after she returned to New York on June 11. Howard said that Beth was appearing "with" Mario Lopez when all she did was appear on his show, Extra TV, where they broadcast live from Universal Studios. Beth seemed to only jabber about cats in between returning to her old habits of glomming onto any celebrity and her outright flirting and body language of touching her face and hair was just pathetic. My gosh, wonder what's up with that. She can't believe she can really replace the outgoing Maria Monotonous, right? We know Beth is filler material just like her closeted hubby during the summer months when real stars are in Europe. 

Speaking of which, the Zombie's are in Paris since Rob is currently on tour and his wife, as always, is along for the free ride of fame and glory and spending plenty of money. And why not? Rob makes trillions from being the world's biggest rock star, and TV and film director, producer, writer, you name it. Note to Howard and Beth: This is how skinny you have to be for any of those outfits and costumes you try and stuff yourselves into. Rob and Sheri are the real thing, they practically disappear when they turn to the side and Sheri's secret to maintaining a slim figure as she approaches 50 is that she's a vegetarian chain smoker.

TimeLine:

June 5th Date Night with Howard and Beth, but only Beth is photographed. 

June 6th begins Howard's private six days of Beth-free activities. He releases an amateur moron drawing of a cat with a lazy left eye while Beth claims to be at a birthday party for Sam Simon, yet no photographs exist with Beth and Sam [he probably had to hide his wallet and lock himself in his house to stop her from asking for money for her scam charity].

June 7th - Beth is MIA. Howard claims he was in little kid drawing classes and met with his eldest daughter.

June 8th - Tony Awards...suspect Howard was busy having his own private party while Beth goes to some loser concert in LA apparently with just the girls. Beth is a self proclaimed Broadway insider and I am shocked she missed the Tony Awards presentation, but I guess Beth misses her date nights at the gay/lesbian biker bars.

June 9th - Beth appears on Extra TV while Howard is doing his Sirius satellite radio show.

June 10th - Beth is most likely flying back home to NY. No photographs of Beth appear for this day. Howard is still on the air doing his show.

June 11th - Bitchy Beth is back in NY and calls into Howard's radio show to brag and talk about kittens again. Howard is so proud his stupid wife was in LA...was it really some secret meetings with AGT? Did Howard send Beth to meet w/producers to stall them from terminating his contract for next season? No real business can be conducted with the Howard Stern Production Company's stupid representative.

People forget what a giant loser Beth was when Howard met her. She had no fame and her public image was that of being Howard's cross-eyed girlfriend who tried a shot at a solo calendar which failed miserably, resulting in the abandonment of her own personal website. She needed a positive public image since all she could get on TV was the second [and last] season of True Beauty, a reality/game show she got because Howard filed a lawsuit against the network carrying a show called "Are You Hot", which listed Jackie Martling on the credits. Howard did a bit on his radio showed called "Are You Hot" and claimed the network stole his idea. Yes, Jackie helped get Howard inside info and have dirt to file the lawsuit. Jackie has been on Howard's payroll ever since. As part of the massive settlement, the network gave Stern's ugly girlfriend a job as a judge on True Beauty. Of course Beth failed miserably and she was back in the Stern camp, jobless and shunned by anyone who had worked with her.

Enter the charity gimmick, suddenly, Bianca the bulldog was Beth's dog, that she and Howard treated as their child, and had endless photo shoots with Bianca. Beth latches onto the North Shore Animal League and becomes their spokesperson. It all worked pretty good since Beth was getting her photos printed everywhere, the dog got her the publicity she craved. Forget that Howard bought the dog for Ashley so she could have a pet during the court ordered visits to his Man Cave during the week. If Howard violated the contract, and failed to let the kid stay with him and enjoy those mandatory shrimp and pasta dinners at Nobu, it would have resulted in full custody being shifted to the first wife and a giant decrease in Stern's bank account once again. Yes, Howard got his Manhattan man cave in the divorce, shared custody of that last specimen in a test tube, and Beth O'Torsky, cross eyed and dull as a lamp post.

Eventually, Beth tired of the dog and the same old photo shoots and she had a fit and was in a frenzy to stuff food down that dog until it finally had a heart attack and died. She incinerated Bianca before Ashley could arrive in NY to say good-bye to her pet. Howard was busy on the radio and had no interest in flying into the Hamptons to deal with crazy Beth. He just told the vet to shoot Beth with a tranquilizer gun while Howard worked on his tearful speech for his radio show and press released some gibberish about how he loved the dog...oh, right.

Beth had the nerve to pose with her dying dog, seen here wearing a giant heart monitor vest and Beth looking like a maniacal serial killer. Howard immediately gets some mileage out of the death of his "child" Bianca, and gets his glamour shots posted all over the Internet. These two are insane and have no original ideas to get attention. They use a dog for press, dead or alive.

Enter the Ninja Kittens...now Beth has a steady stream of stolen kittens from shelters, kittens that the public can only adopt after Beth gets massive publicity and photos taken of herself with the cats, and massive national press for being a nice person...while Howard continues with his flatlined career at judging a crappy TV game show.

Pretty funny how Beth will always copy Sheri Zombie...Beth's cat Yoda looks an awful lot like Sheri's cat, a cat she's had for almost 2 years...