So, how do you solve a problem like Howard? You hire a trained parrot to take Stern's phone calls while you skate out to lunch. Howard has no clue since he just jabbers on about himself nonstop and like with his psychiatrist when the hour is up, the psychiatrist returns to his office and says, "Talk with you next week, Howard," and hangs up the phone and feeds Polly a cracker.
After "Private Parts," Howard did get signed for another flop but Melanie Griffith was also signed and backed out of the project once she heard Stern was signed too. So, the film idea was dropped and Stern sued and got a little settlement just to go away and stop terrorizing the producers into making the film. Most actors do sue when a studio backs out of a deal because those actors were tied to that contract and had to refuse other work in the meantime. This didn't apply to Howard because he was never out any money nor was he offered any projects that he was forced to turn down while waiting for that film to begin production. He kept working at his day job on that radio dial but the producers had to pay the jerk to go away. Stern has been avoided by Hollywood ever since only getting some stale unpaid walk-on cameo appearance offers in random films that Howard's daddy agent, Don Buchwald, turned down because an agent's percentage of zero is zero.
To be free from Stern and have a semblance of normalcy in your life, you have to cave and tell Howard that the reason he is a huge failure and is always stuck on a radio dial is due to the entire world being jealous of Howard and the globe has conspired to keep him from becoming a huge Hollywood star and huge late night TV talk show host all because everyone is jealous of Howard.
Yep. Everyone is jealous of his basement that's sinking into that sandpit his house sits on, jealous of his fat divorce where he ended up with a quarter of nothing with a Beth O stuck in it, and they are jealous he got a stint on NBC's "America's Got Talent" (AGT) even though no one wanted that job in the first place knowing that Simon was taking that job as soon as he was free from his other TV commitments. Howard was sinking the AGT ratings quicker than an iceberg in the side of a ship. Oh, but if Howard were on a sinking ship [e.g., Sirius satellite radio] he just says that the ocean is jealous of him.
Now onto today's stale Stern satellite radio show. Big shock here as Howard claims the now-dead actor Charles Grodin was jealous of him - yes, you can all start laughing now before you read today's show excerpts.
Covid Cure Update
The vaccine to protect humans from the Covid invasion is being rolled out like tootsie rolls and people are gobbling them up like there's no tomorrow. It's been reported that allegedly, the vaccine injection site on your arm makes your body magnetic. Any metal objects you pass by will be attracted to you. It's been rumored that that's where X-Men's Magneto got his magnetic superpowers from because he was one of the first test subjects for what would become the Covid vax.
So, after the injection, are you magnetized? Gee, I don't believe this at all. It's just a bunch of hooey.
Mighty Joe Biden Update
It's been alleged that the real Joe Biden can no longer remain vertical and will soon be replaced by Norma Kamali Harris. Only a skeleton crew of clones will be kept onboard until Joe moves permanently into his basement bunker where it's rumored he will transition from President of the U.S. to the co-host of the stale Howard Stern satellite radio show with his sidekick Robin Quivers being side kicked off the show.
By July 4, it's been alleged that Norma Kamali Harris will become our nation's first female African-American, American Indian, Puerto Rican, Somalian, Haitian, Russian, Italian, Botswanian, Filipino, Caucasian, Arubian, and German Shepherd President of the U.S. Wow, what a big deal for her and her peoples and dogs.
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| Alleged insiders have leaked this photo proving that attempts at reviving Joe Biden have failed. It's been alleged that he can no longer fulfill his duties as our nation's fearless leader and sadly, can no longer click his heels when summoning the troops. |
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#benstern #raystern #anniversary #nathans
#nathangetsbadreviews #startrek #harris #shatner
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