The Song Remains the Same

It's been months since Howard Stern announced he wanted to replace his theme song to his radio show that carried over to his stale satellite radio show, the "Great American Nightmare" that was written and performed by Rob Zombie and features the mumbled voice of Howard Stern. Rob stated that song was his biggest bomb. Rob did perform it briefly on one of his concert tours a super long time ago and it was met with people taking a break and heading to the snack bar.

Photo of Howard at the recording session for the
"Great American Nightmare" radio theme song.
Does Howard have a weird underbite or is he part werewolf?

Anyone who may pay attention to Stern's stale satellite radio show knows that he has hired Mark Ronson to produce a new theme song for him and then later Howard inferred that he wanted a number one hit single and not necessarily replace the Rob Zombie theme song since insiders are gossiping that there is a contract in place over that theme song. For Howard's selfie produced 60th birthday bash that also aired on his stale satellite radio show and was also videotaped, Rob came out on stage and performed the theme song live. He purposefully messed up the opening lyrics to the song to ensure Howard could not market a live version; but who knows. Rob knows. Howard is a sneaky bastard.

1-29-19, Howard's eyelift is out of sight !
What about that Botox freeze? 

So hilarious that Howard selected the now-Oscar winning producer Ronson to do a song for Howard since it is more than obvious where Ronson buys that hair from. It's the same black rug that all male science lovers wear. Insiders allege that Mark has been seen at the Scientology production studios on the Sunset Strip as everyone is wondering what happened to the big Stern song [and dance].

Mark was on Andy Cohen's cable TV show "Watch What Happens Live" and dodged bullets when questioned about the Stern song, as in, where is it?? We know Stern has reportedly been tardy with dues in the past so where is his funding coming from? Is Sirius backing out of the deal? Did Howard blow all his dough on that dumb book promotional tour, paying people right and left to get him on TV? 

We know Beth is all tired out hauling books to all their properties and to her relatives' homes all over the place stuffing books everywhere there is space since Howard has to be on the NY Times bestseller list and crowed about bumping off the former First Lady Michelle Obama [not literally; literarily]. As if that is something to brag about but Stern is super angry no super top politicians or VIPs will step foot into that crow's nest of his inside that stale Sirius satellite radio building in NYC. They don't want to be crapped on by Stern and never wanted to be a part of his crappy book of interviews where Stern only gets paid, not the celebs featured in the book since they all signed away the rights to the interviews when they originally appeared in the Stern studios. Yeah, they've all got egg on their faces now. Dummies.

Watch What Happens Live, June 13, 2019, excerpt:

Andy Cohen:  "Debbie C. wants to know 'Mark, what happened to the song that you were producing for Howard Stern?'"

Mark Ronson:  "It's still like -- so it took me a while to work on it and obviously I'm such a huge Howard fan.  I mean, I love when you're on the show definitely."

Andy Cohen:  "Thank you.  Love being on the show."

Mark Ronson:  "And I guess I'm waiting now the ball is in his court."

Andy Cohen:  "Oh, it's in his --"

Mark Ronson:  "I wanted to make it like really great so I wanted to like get it up to a certain point and I sent it to him and I'm just waiting."

Rosie Perez (the other guest):  "Howard Stern sings?"

Andy Cohen:  "Well, let's ask Mark."

Mark Ronson:  "He's doing like a kind of like he wants to have a hit song, he's done everything else.  He's kind of like had a book, movie, all this stuff, he's the King Of All Media and now he wants to have like a hit song."

Andy Cohen:  "He wants to be a one-hit wonder like Kim Zolciak (Bravo celebrity), who can blame him?"

-END-

All Howard can hope for is a Weird Al Yankovic type parody song if
he wants a hit record, not a real song by an Oscar winning producer
even though that Oscar winning song sucked.

Ronson revealed to Cohen that he was a DJ at Paul McCartney's wedding as well as the wedding of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes at a castle in Italy. I know Howard talks about going to Italy on his stale satellite radio show but in reality he is terrified of visiting the castle and having Tom Cruise torture him into paying up. Those old castles all still have the torture devices they used centuries ago when old fart DJs failed to pay all of their membership dues yet still expect publicity and tons of services like writing songs and getting TV show appearances and to get their wives on TV and getting D-List celebs to show up at their cat foster home and pretend to be all interested in their cat cash grab gimmick.

Beth Ostrosky Stern is a disappearing nightmare as she failed to make the list on the official Hamptons Authors Night website of past authors who showed up to past Authors Nights over the years. Yes, Beth was there twice for her first book "Oh My Dog" and failed to score a spot for her subsequent two books about Yoda her cat with the plagiarized Star Wars name, and how she rescued him from a cage at the North Shore Animal League and locked him in a room all alone at her posh pad and ignored him. The second Yoda had kittens and bullied a blind cat into submission under his house rules like Attila the Hun and that book went over like a lead balloon. Beth was forced to unload thousands of her Yoda the cat books onto the public school system and forced students to take the books home with them. Reportedly, the parents were overjoyed with this and scheduled a secret book burning party in the basements of their homes [hahaha]. Gee, wonder why Alec Baldwin banned Beth and her last two books from his Authors Night event? Yeah, it's a mystery. 

http://authorsnight.org/press-room/

Alec is a founding honorary chair of the annual event and normally he and his wife Hilaria host the event together and greet authors and stuff and sign copies of their current books. No Howard Stern as of yet is on list of the authors scheduled to show up this year. Howard's fan can't wait to see if Stern shows up with 5,000 copies of his book so his fan can get a signed one. I guess Beth can show up with the O Family in tow and they can be Howard's fan club and clap and scream when Howard shows up.

The Hamptons Authors Night will be held August 10th this year
and we'll have to wait and watch to see if the Sterns show up. If they do,
Howard will have to hire a bunch of actors to show up to buy
his new book and pretend to want his worthless autograph.

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