Special Ed Saturday

Beth and Howard Stern are in a nerdo tizzy since Beth announced that she is once again in an upcoming issue of Social Life magazine which is a big deal to Special Ed Beth, a magazine that is provided for free at Hamptons real estate offices and laundromats with Howard Stern producing the issue. So now we have to suffer through a bunch of botched photos of Beth taken by the King Photoshopper Howard Stern since he submits the photos to the magazine and they have to choose from the dozens that Howard sends because he finances the whole layout and the phony story that goes with it. 

Well, they've got nothing else to do. Howard is being kicked off television for the third (?) time and then he had a bunch of unaired pilots so those don't count, but soon the airwaves will be free of Howard Stern on NBC unless he can bribe and beg Simon Cowell to reverse the firing decision, we don't know, it might work. Stern is panicking since he will be losing about 10 -12 million dollars each year as a fake judge of a faked reality show "America's Got Talent" where Howard Stern thinks it's real and that the winner is not already determined providing nothing unforeseen happens, like the person falls off a cliff or gets their head cut off by a deranged dentist who thinks that a lion lured off a wildlife preserve is fair game.

Special Ed Beth referred to her sagging breast implants as ONE basketball [shouldn't she be palming basketballs?] on her Twitter site, which is scrambling for content as she continues to push her freakish proportions onto the Internet thinking it will shut it down and clog all the servers when it will only cause hackers to desperately throw back what they found in the corporate cloud.

Uh, should be basketballs Bethie. This photo posted on Barren Beth's
Twitter site filled with nothing on 7/31/15 and her breasts look average size.

These are basketballs Bethie, what you have are lumpy floppy breast implants that point in different directions and the right one is lower than the left and they never meet in the middle unless you push them together with your enormous monster man claws you call hands.

Maybe Beth should be posting in the 65+ Division of Twitter. Who's got the better implants? MTM or BOS?

1996, Flirting With Disaster, a movie
edited to fit in Beth who replaced
the original bit player
selected by the casting director.

What happened here, Beth? Isn't this 1996? Your Australian burn victim boyfriend didn't buy you those KMart breast implants yet? Do tell honey, we love to hear your awesome stories. You might get some real followers on your InstaTwit sites instead of those shills you call fans and fat ass cat association shut-ins who hang on your every word, oh right, you've got the paid friends Whitney Scumbag, Christa Milldew, and that sometimes friend Katie Puglee.

In real model news, Gisele Bundchen has decided to retire from modeling at 35 years old [ha, she ain't Beth! Beth is a superstar at 46] and she appeared in a burqa to cover up and hide her recent bout of plastic surgery. The Daily Mail UK reported that she allegedly had an eye and boob job. What gave her away was her chauffeur pictured in the photo who has worked for her for many years aside from the strappy toe-baring sandals she's wearing.




















A similar incident occurred about three weeks ago at Howard Stern's Florida Fortress. Workers were seen delivering huge carpets that appeared to be wearing wigs and were extremely heavy. Sources say that the Sterns have their own private cosmetic surgery center housed inside the Florida Fortress and that was what took almost a year to complete, it wasn't simply a new giant closet for the closeted couple. They snuck in via Carpets Are Us trucks to not attract any attention as they normally arrive in limos with staff, entourage, selfie camera crews, etc. Beth and Howard allegedly were busy in Florida getting their plastic surgery tweaked while their paid pigeons were posting photos on Instagram that made them appear to be in the Hamptons.