Five More Years of the Ratings Killer

Will no one give the aged
transvestite drag queen Howard his
own television show?

On Monday's stale satellite radio show, Howard Stern claimed to want to keep working for another five years, at what, he didn't say. But he has a proven record of canceled TV shows, unaired TV pilots, defunct terrestrial radio syndication deals and now tanking the ratings for a fourth year in a row for "America's Got Talent" (AGT). 

Beautiful woman's wig here, Howard. Only your hairdresser knows for sure, right? Of course you don't dye your hair, who dyes a wig? Well, I guess custom cut and color is a must but I think Howard does not personally dye his hair because the wig is already dyed and the weave pasted into his scalp with a few transplants dying to take root.

NBC thinks these loser guest judges will save AGT in its 10th [and most likely its last] season since hiring the ratings killer Howard Stern as a permanent judge when Simon Cowell went on record in a few press releases where he stated that he would consider Howard Stern as a guest judge only, not a permanent judge. We see Simon was right, Stern is a proven ratings killer as a permanent judge on AGT.

AGT guest judges for Summer 2015.

Hey, these jerks are no better than old man Stern who is not only a draft dodger by hiding in a tech college for 10 years, but also looks like he lies about his age. It makes sense that he is desperate to keep working until at least 70, since he is supporting a bunch of people and if he stops, a million blind items will appear in the tabloids about a certain wig wearing tranny with an inverted male sex organ with eyes darting around his nose jobs who married a guy.

The aged morning zoo DJ who has had way too many chances at fame, needs to think about tanking another medium, like, ummm, oh, the animal charity gimmick. Like how he has tanked his prize mare, Beth, into being a pathetic aged joke snatching kittens so people will take her picture and she can get some press out of it. 

Fame has eluded the giant
fathead failed model for 30 years.

She has stooped so low as to name a bunch of different cats "Bianca" in her press releases since she forgot Bianca was her bulldog she purchased from a breeder with her husband who claims to believe there are such things as rescue breeders. No, dummy, breeders breed animals and contribute to the over population explosion and the animals being abandoned and dumped onto the county animal shelters where the animals are euthanized within weeks of the dumping.

All that Howard Stern could ever get
his failed fat model wife was
free corporate tickets to movie screenings.

Howard wined and dined a few caught and captured pigeons over this past weekend while avoiding all parents on both sides of the family for Father's Day. Howard is desperate to hang onto his television career while desperate to dangle some sort of invisible competing job offers in front of SiriusXM honchos so they will stop cutting his production budget every year. Each year there have been changes to the Stern satellite radio show, staff disappearing, staff being sent home on a phone line, cost cutting everywhere which has even affected his prize mare, Beth O Unemployable. Good luck Howard, maybe the aged hags in Florida will employ your wife in their animal charity gimmicks. We know Lois Pope the mafia widow is on board with her buddy buddy Stern and letting Beth horn in on the American Humane Association's Hero Dog Awards where Beth only is allowed around cats right now since having a major meltdown and got all mad and offed her bulldog Bianca who she now thinks was really a cat. Looney tunes there Howard. Are all your servants in Florida, Manhattan and the Hamptons wearing white coats and carrying around a supply of syringes for wifey?

Howard can't face it. The only one of the AGT group that is going anywhere is Heidi Klum. She is honored by charities for humans, like UNICEF, the Red Cross and Gabrielle's Angel Foundation to raise money for cancer research where Heidi serves on the Gala Co-Chairperson committee for the annual Angel Ball in NY.

She has countless adverts and her own line of clothing. Sorry Howard and Beth, maybe the senior team in Florida waiting for god will finally make you two aged dinosaurs famous in the garden of good and evil.