Can it, Howard...

As the prime time network and cable shows are closing shop for the summer with the celebs and media moguls headed for Europe and the annual Cannes Film Festival, May 13-24, the world of D List television has to put up with the loud mouth aged canned hams, Beth and Howard Stern on television this week.


Howard Stern completely ignored Mother's Day on Monday's satellite radio show because Stern is a big star this week, appearing on the David Letterman Show as a penguin with a paunch trying to once again make out with Dave on the air while behind the scenes Stern has been trying to steal his job for 20 years. 

Both Howard and Robin showed up to the David Letterman studios on Monday as "The Penguin" as they are both pudged out pariahs with the umbrellas with the Sirius logo on them. Howard has to wear the overly long sleeves to cover up his webbed hands with the liver spots. Howard's sure packing on those pounds sitting around worried that this is the last season of "America's Got Talent" and wonders if he can bully and badger the new host of late night television, Stephen Colbert [who is replacing the aged David Letterman], and let him parade on the show and hog a half hour of free TV.

Stephen Colbert will be the new queen of late night TV, can Howard stand it? Maybe they could have a "who wore it best" gown contest once a month, that might get Stern back on the show since his buddy Dave is finally calling it quits.

The struggling daytime talk show, irritatingly called "The Talk" is in New York this week and you know what that means, getting saddled with the New York fixture Howard Stern's dolt wife with the vertical football head who is known for doing absolutely nothing but spouting nonsense and plugging her aged crone husband as if they are a straight couple with Beth fitting right in with the trannies in dresses with Sharon Osbourne having to work at 70 yrs old since she found out the U.S. collects taxes on your income.

"The Talk" got rid of Beth quick, filming both her segments on Monday, as she scored a guest hosting spot on Monday and Thursday in a week of dismal shows featuring the gay, lesbian, bisexual panel of aged hagathas. 

Bitchy Beth added nothing to the conversation on "The Talk" since she has to be careful what she says. She has no history, so she comes up with phantom jobs and phantom experiences to relate for the canned audience and is careful not to provide any details, because they are called "lies". Oh, I loved Beth's two cents when she said some talk show host made more money than her, well duh, not much work on your knees is there Beth? What did you expect to be paid? Oh, it's a man's world, I get it, that's why you married money bags Stern and sit around with the iPhone all day taking selfies. Right, honey, you are such a feminist making your own money and all that, equal pay for equal role playing...you are the wife in the relationship, right? Not sure.

Notice the manic Beth was flying around back stage at "The Talk" spinning and coked up like there's no tomorrow [you know I mean the soda] perched on the top of a couch setting up her big photo shoot with herself with pillows and lighting so Miss Plastic Surgery with the little girl beauty pageant wig can show off her bargain basement dress from the plus size designer knock-off department store:

Beth felt right at home with the Broadway Babies and former lovers, Broderick and Lane, as Beth is a Broadway insider having bugged the hell out of her so-called old boyfriend [ha ha] Michael Cerveris, with Howard even admitting on his satellite radio show that she raced off to the "theater" all by herself. Well, duh, she got free tickets courtesy of "The Talk" to see the latest Broadway show of the pudgy duo Broderick & Lane, and I doubt the pariah was alone, she always has a babysitter with her. 

Photos below are from The Talk Facebook page as Beth is all thumbs pointing at herself during a back stage meeting with the cast and crew. Then, later on in the show she posed for a group shot with all the Friends of Dorothy. Now send the fug back to the Hamptons as the ratings killer has done her job of tanking The Talk.

On Monday's satellite radio borefest, Howard got a bit of bragging inserted into his interview with Jimmy Kimmel. Beth can hardly move at parties, with Howard saying that some friends get sexual with her. Well sure, they want to know what Howard married. 

Is Beth male, female, or both? Someone has got to find out and report it immediately to Crazy Days and Nights dot net, that is one story we are waiting for. But then you have to tell the world who the hell Beth Ostrosky is, then have a long explanation she married Howard Stern, then you have to explain who Howard Stern is and that the dinosaur is not dead but was shoved onto a pay service, and well, you get the drift.

Photo from 2014 of Beth with her PR agent Alison Brod [left] and  her sister in law Amy Grezinger. Alison is the one responsible for ferreting out pigeons to employ Beth and get her a spot on a TV show as well as a red carpet.

Happy Beth Tuesday

We can't wait for Howard to tell us some super Beth news! Did Beth capture anymore herds of purebred Persian cats roaming loose in NY? Did Beth forget again to get a kitten spayed before dumping it onto a pigeon in New Jersey and then blame the pigeon? Anymore of Beth's approved kitten adopters freeze a kitten to death in a frig and Beth has to find a replacement? Stay tuned as we follow the fathead down the rabbit hole as she keeps looking for Alice.