The Sterns Are Ratings Poison

Sorry, my little typewriter can't keep up with all of Howard Stern's bullshit and I just hope Howard believes his tall tales since I suppose that is what his hypnotherapy is all about, telling himself he is famous and that his wife has a real career.

Howard Stern has become a giant infomercial paid to promote his loser career and his wifey Bethie as the useless spokesperson for the North Shore Animal League (NSAL) while his job with "America's Got Talent" (AGT) is on thin ice, with press releases from last year that Piers Morgan is coming back, and most likely a bunch of guest judges in honor of its ten years of staying on the air in spite of being a dismal reality show.

The Sashaying Queen of Summer Filler, Howard Stern as AGT producers scramble to
boost ratings for its 10th anniversary moving aside the Ratings Killer
Howard Stern.

We all know the bankrupt Hallmark Channel is airing for the second year in a row [using 99% of footage already filmed from last year's broadcast] that Beth Infomercial in competition with the real Super Bowl on Sunday; face it Howard, it was a ratings bomb, Kitten Bowl 2015 will be no different.

Beth Stern is a loser in comparison with Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl, 

a solid ratings winner year after year with the host also being

a Buchwald client so now you know how Howard got the

Kitten Bowl idea.

Puppy Bowl Referee Dan Schachner

Howard's frozen asset; Beth's reversed
image frozen in a mirror at the studios of
Good Morning America on 1/28/15.
Still frozen Beth? Oh, just like your
allowance from 112 Productions.

Still sneaking in and out of your new digs, Stern? Oh, I know you still use the now-corporate apartments in Manhattan, which houses a bunch of tax shelter kittens and closets of the same group of clothes Beth stuffs herself into year after year. 

No more clothing budget for Beth since it comes directly out of Stern's 112 budget instead of the charity deduction fund, it's a struggle, right Howard? The IRS is kind of picky about what is actually a business expense and what your personal infomercial expenses are and exactly what it is your wife does that she claims is all for charity. Selfies are not charitable donations.

Photo taken several
years ago and you can see
the bruising from yet
another nose job.

Beth has to recycle the same clothes and the same wigs but can still freeze her face with Botox to keep up appearances she is desperate to maintain, that Howard married some young woman, instead of an aged bar fly passed around like a hot potato as Beth sharpened her stalking skills and landed the old codger, a fixture, a buffoon from the Morning Zoo era of unfunny moronic DJs.

The Sterns are stuck in NY, that is their sole source of income, with all the talk shows that have to come up with hours and hours of something to tell the poor housewives in Middle America what to buy with their food stamps, while Howard does a voodoo rain dance and prays to the gods for a monster storm so no real celebs can fly into the city so he and Beth have a chance at a few TV appearances, big deal, Stern has come full circle in the drain of his loser career.

NBC will rally with its 10 year AGT anniversary hoping to get some ratings before the show is finally canned, as that is the only way you can be free of Howard Stern, or be prepared for a nasty battle with the aged DJ who never made it past a radio microphone with a wife that never made it past catalog modeling.

Oh, and thanks Howard, but we don't really need you to be the fat monitor for the U.S. Do you want a badge from the President? Why don't you eliminate that pot belly before throwing insults at real stars? 

Richard Simmons thinks AGT is too gay
and has been in hiding ever since
making that call to Stern
telling him to come out of the closet.

I know, forget about superstars Boy George and Elton John when they were young and didn't fit the mold of a star, well not everyone can look like a demented lesbian like the star that covers the walls of Howard's dreams, Justin Beaver. Not everyone can look like Broadway Bradley, with the blue contact lenses and makeup, wearing short shorts on the big screen, omg, Howard, do you need some alone time after reading this? You want the real thing, male all the way. Now you can run and hide as Bethie takes over the corporate housing in Manhattan. Maybe Beth's Mommy O doesn't have to hawk anymore real estate at 79 years old and can have permanent employment in Beth's closet vacuuming the cat hair.

We know Howard is working overtime to try and score an appearance on the David Letterman show as he is finally retiring [and hopefully won't reappear] as we wonder if Howard has yet to find video evidence that Beth appeared on the Letterman show, or if she was edited out and thrown in the garbage. All Beth could ever produce as evidence was two seconds of audiotape that was aired on the Stern show when he was replaying his big history about himself, but Vinnie Favale gave Howard all the tapes he had of Beth and we'd love to see them.

Letterman loved Lohan. Maybe Beth can copy her dress again
and they can both appear at the same time on Letterman's final
show and the audience can vote on who whored it best.