Spice, Spice, Baby

Howard Stern's co-judge Mel B on "America's Got Talent" is busy judging the "X Factor" in England and has been married since 2007 to her hot husband. In an interview with the Daily Mirror newspaper, she says they keep things sexy by doing naked Twister, aside from regular romps in the bedroom. Wow, this busy mom, wife, celebrity, and global in-demand star is leaving Howard in the dust.

Stern is desperate to eliminate this hot spice from his diet as he tries to clear out the judges table for the next Summer season of "America's Got Talent" thereby hoping to avoid further salary decreases due to lack of ratings and the producers having to further cut audition cities to barely nothing to save money. We still wonder if NBC will be doing the spice dance and decide to not sign the contracts this week and eliminate a certain wigged wonder and his silicone wife from the bargaining table.

Hot in the City: Spice & her husband

So where are Beth & Howard's sexy photos? 

Howard likes the
boy body and fat ass
and huge legs
he rarely shows
in his photos.

Howard claims to be a photographer yet all we get out of his camera are hilarious wig shots like this of Beth groping herself and hiding her tree trunk lower body. But hey, girls just want to have fun and solo fun is all Beth is getting. I know, the visual of that is pretty gross unless you are Rosie O'Donnell reading this, then I apologize.

Beth fans know that Beth's career that Howard promised to give her has never materialized as she is stuck at home with kitten selfies under a delusion she was once a famous model somewhere, all we could find were photos from New Jersey catalogs. The poor woman is clinging to some wedding that took place in 2008 producing nothing from the bedroom only stories of how they banned their [now deceased] dog from sleeping with them only to find out Stern lives in Manhattan and only visits the wife on rare occasions over the weekends in the Hamptons. 

We hear no tidbits from Beth or Howard of how they have kept their dull relationship dull for at least 15 years, most likely longer, since Stern bought his Manhattan Man Cave after "Private Parts" was in the can and released to a limited number of theaters before being dumped onto the video market and now occasionally shown on mothballed cable stations. Yes, suddenly Stern could no longer go home at nights to wife #1 but needed to stay in town during the work week and only visiting the wife on weekends [hmmm, sounds like Stern is back to his old routine].

Also out-doing the dullard Sterns are the O'Connell's who are really in demand right now and have a stellar marriage and stellar kids, another project the Sterns never could get off the ground, our out of a lab, but maybe the answer will be found in Florida. Jerry & Rebecca are set to do their own day time talk show to give Kelly Ripa's TV talk show some healthy competition. Nobody is asking for the Sterns to do anything but stop calling them asking to be on television.

Gosh, didn't know High Priestess Goddess Emily Stern got her deep thoughts and inspiration from the Spice Girls...seems like her CD of poetry put to music where she chants "zoo za zoo", is a bit familiar: