Evolution of an Idiot

We've all heard it and are sick of it that Howard Stern has evolved, that he is no longer the racist on the radio but still manages to be a gross out artist and remains a shock jock in spite of all his evolution and revolution and sells sound bytes from his stale satellite radio show desperate to trap any D List celebrity, comic, crone, or bankrupt star into saying something that Howard Stern can sell to the tabs and to any media outlet so they have something to plug into their columns aside from the regular plugs about Howard's old plug Beth O'Nobody. 

Nose jobs, weird facelifts, botox, this happy
couple has it all, including a ton of debt since
Howard can't launch his freak faced pariah.
Even the charity tax shelter bit ain't working.

Oh, don't forget we all want to hear old man decrepit Stern who wears a fish net with permed doll's hair woven into it, critique young women and tell us who is hot and who is fat and ugly, when he comes off as a old pervert pornographer looking for his next barely legal porn star for his underground film company [which I actually think Howard is getting payola from the porn industry, I mean he needs the money, his income is fixed at this point with expenses going up every year]. 

How obvious is it that Howard is out of money? Well, Beth looked like shit at the "Hero Dog Awards" event in Los Angeles last week:

So why didn't Mr. Evolved, who no longer uses homophobic slangs and was shocked and appalled when Artie Lange used to throw in some slang as he ranted and raved on one of his acid filled cupcake days, which got him hooked all over again on various substances, right? What was I saying?...Oh, why didn't he move onto a hot young supermodel and start a hot new young family? Would it have been a crime against The Jewish Journal, who worships Stern and his scrambled brained eldest daughter with her hippy wisdom since Beth seems to be a Nazi Catholic?

I know, everyone thinks Beth is a guy, but the forensic scientists still haven't issued their findings; but okay, why would the new Howard Stern NOT want the new second family? Is the real issue here his support of Israel or his support hose underneath his skinny jeans with the elastic waistband? Is Howard a guy? That really is the question here. We know Halloween is coming up and since hooking up with Miss HookAnySucker, he no longer dresses in drag at Halloween but only for xmas. Okay, so the new evolved Howard spits on Christianity yet he is married to Miss Catholic? I mean what exactly has Howard evolved into other than an old man terrified of losing his job with a corporation that is sick of reruns when the original broadcasts are worse? I guess the new Howard wants gays and lesbians accepted by the Church yet refuses to publicly support any gay or lesbian causes, events, fundraisers, so really Howard is an evolved p-h-o-n-y.

Maybe a simple chart will help everyone with Howard's evolution, yes, he's evolved all right, and evolved right out of a high paying nationally syndicated radio show due to massive FCC fines and his bosses were sick of his schtick. Try to stay awake, Howard's evolution to full idiot and finding his perfect match idiot in life is actually pretty dull:

Mr. Evolved Howard Stern who is such an idiot he actually thinks Beth looks good in that get-up where she was obviously having crotch problems. Howard was so desperate to get some sexy girlfriend and he ended up with Beth and Beth was too stupid to be embarrassed in that casino cocktail waitress costume.