Beards & Bathtubs

Here's my own belief about all the dirty girls

That you have to clean the oyster to find the pearl

And like rags that belong to you I belong to myself

So don't show up around here till your social worker's helped

Howard Stern is obsessed with bathtubs and keeps talking about Beth in a bathtub, then years ago his fairy tale that Angie Everhart was in a bathtub in his apartment in Manhattan waiting for him to come home from his radio show [before he was kicked off free radio with his national syndication deals only a memory]. Now, on Tuesday's Howard Stern radio show he inserted another bathtub reference with saying he puts Halloween candy outside the door of his apartment in a container the size of a bathtub; talk about a mommy fetish. Howard must miss all his naked little bath times with mommy. My gosh, did anyone in his house ever wear clothes aside from daddy in a dress? How many times was little Howard in a tub? 

Now Howard brags about Beth always being in a bathtub because somehow he thinks it's a sexy visual but it turns your stomach because she's a No-Lister nobody who can't get that wig and tons of makeup ruined by a shower of water so she sits her ass in a tub of water called a sitz bath [Howard can't face it; that's what she is doing] all the time in between hair appointments in the city and filming that never ending Kitten Bowl for the Hallmark Channel and dropping her cell phone that never breaks apart and a phantom robber stole it and never turned it on not realizing he got the cell phone of that famous unknown ghost, Beth O'NoPast.

Cops & Robbers drama while Beth was in the city last week according
 to Howard's pathetic attempt at inserting Beth into his radio
broadcast since she is desperate for any
attention she can get, what with that Yoda the Cat book 
that is tanking on the pre-order front. We just hope Marianne Garvey
was sitting on her satellite this week getting the story straight 
for her column in the NY Daily News [the primo source for Stern bullshit].

Beth is busted again with wearing the same outfit, since that Kitten Bowl is a bunch of used footage with new segments to insert since Beth is a profound moron and can't string two words together so it requires a million retakes and splicing together clips from the cutting room floor.

The print on the blouse is different, but obviously the Peg Bundy stretch pants are the same. The current photo taken last week [on the left] is when Beth was still filming that Hallmark Channel filler called the Kitten Bowl, and the photo on the right was taken in February 2014 when Beth did some crappy TV show called The Couch. [It's difficult to see, but the stars and dots are the difference on the blouses].

Cuomo, Sir Elton & Doogie Howser

Having no time for real charities, Beth & Howard didn't bother paying real cash to show up to Elton John's AIDS foundation benefit even though Howard is in the city and could've bussed Beth into town to attend. However, several celebs managed to score an invite and were willing to part with cash, not paper, meaning, not garbage books and calendars featuring some nobody Howard Stern dug up from the list of fired stage hands at the David Letterman Show or fired screw-ups working in the publicity offices of defunct strip clubs in between escorting Asian men and Australian burn victims to private dinner parties that cater to body part fetish creeps.

Elton John AIDS Foundation's 13th Annual An Enduring Vision Benefit, Cipriani Wall Street, New York, 10/28/14

Brooke wearing chicken feathers.

Closeted Matt.

Crazy Alec & Hilaria

Looks like Alec won Doogie in a silent auction.

#alecbaldwin #brooke #couch #thecouch #hallmark #kittenbowl