Blogger Babes

Congrats to a fellow blogger Meghan Markle Sparkle for bagging a big one in England, the spare Prince in waiting that will never see that throne room but hey, it's still a good gig for a Plain Jane who fucked a Prince to get into his castle. 

The new Duchess of SusSex has made it into the big leagues what with Meghan spending years circling the sky like a vulture over the dead sea of multi-millionaires just waiting to be eaten alive, she was lucky to get a pigeon under the age of 60. So funny that some people close to the new Duchess are saying that gal is really in her forties and good luck getting a baby on board her yacht anytime soon. 

Hey Meg, you can have him. I guess that's why
your girlfriend gave you those trophy horns
as an engagement gift.

Photo edited on purpose. It's Prince Harry in South America
posing with the Water Buffalo he murdered on a hunt in 2004.

Rumor has it that Prince Harry hopes to
be the next Kanye West.

So funny I was just thinking about crazy Pam Anderson who had to go back to begging for scraps from those wealthy fishermen sitting on their yachts placing their bids on the babes up for auction going on in the Italian and French Rivieras. The older you are the less they bid unless there is some guy who thinks having a liaison with a former Playboy centerfold is worth a lot and it might be, to each their own, with Meghan not mincing words in her [former] blog as a hot dame on the rise. Oh right, she isn't one, I mean a real Dame. Well, Meghan got her Prince and this blogger got her Damehood. I'd say that the poor blogger Beth Stern is lagging behind. She has her loser blog posted on the North Shore Animal League website that has led to nothing but free cheap decorator crap from HomeGoods.

So sad when these former famous centerfolds have to hit the
road in search of tomorrow's parties. Hey Pam, I hear there's an
opening in a few suits and suitcases, ya' know? In Hollywood and Canada,
two spots that were vacated by Ms Markle when she got
hired for her permanent gig with the Royals Who Rule, those
former slave traders, ya' know? Geez, nothing much has changed.

Markle can sure Sparkle alright and in all

the right places:

Meghan was bragging on her old blog site called "The Tig" [named after Tignanello wine as her aha moment of discovery of certain things that turn out to be great and wonderful] and in her Tig Talk interviews name dropped a Libyan Princess she was email buddies with, I mean, gosh, she was in the top circles. Geez, wonder if Meghan knows the famous Princess Nobody of the Hamptons? You know, Beth O'Nobody who couldn't even score a gig on a yacht unless it was during Cannes when Howard was there in 1997 with his movie wife and off screen galpal Mary McCormack with Beth stashed on their poop deck? Who knows, right? No one is talking, that's for sure.

Hey now, Howard. You need the yacht and the cars like Simon Cowell
has if you want to score a hot chick that can have your son.
Howard is so jelly of Simon, it's really not funny at this point.

So funny that each year Beth can't get into Hamptons Magazine Summer Kick-Off Memorial Day event. As described on this blog's sidebar, Beth can only get in if she's a plus one or if she steals a mic from ExtraTV to do a Hamptons magazine memorial day story, but she hasn't even scored that gig for several years now. Beth has said on her IG show that she is being shipped to Florida next week to get some cats adopted since no human lives in Florida that can broker a homeless cat deal with Howard apparently doing his regular dullcast with no Beth in town and he will be free from the warden and is quite giddy about it. He can then be on his big badgering spree next week to see who he can bully into letting him get on TV while Beth gets her regular Botox injections at her Florida basement botoxology center so she can be camera ready for another 2 -3 months. But will Beth be back for the big Hamptons Memorial Day Summer Kick-Off parties? I guess we'll have to watch what happens.

Beth, as usual, cannot hide her hatred of these animals that she is forced to pretend to foster since this is all the dumbass Dame Howard Stern of Satellite she married can get for her, a sit-at-home job photographing a bunch of cats while getting free junk shipped to her from HomeGoods to decorate that cheapskate Howard's house in the Hamptons.

Princess Fatty of Fart Manor has nerve calling
kittens fatties when she stuffed herself into a fugly
fashion knock-off that she can barely afford to keep. So funny
that all Blogger Beth could bag was a boring aged cheese
frizz weave that was warehoused to a flailing pay radio service.
So what titles has Beth gotten since marrying Howard Stern?
Oh, you mean ones that I can actually print here? Never mind.

Last year the Sterns tried to say they got a real invitation to a real Memorial Day Hamptons event when they just horned in on a dinner party at the Seinfelds' house. Since they bought the old Billy Joel mansion, Seinfeld is Stuck With The Sterns since Billy failed to tell them that the Sterns come with the house and nobody can get them to stop banging on the door for a free handout and photo op. Beth and Howard, the self-proclaimed animal rights activists, have no problem with the torturous killing of a rare fish to chomp on since they are rare birds headed for extinction themselves. Free eats and you will see the Sterns heading towards your doorway. How much silverware disappeared in Beth's giant dress after this dinner party? Only Jess knows for sure, or the maid.

Who will get STUCK WITH THE STERNS this memorial day weekend? Will Princess Nobody finally score another cover of Hamptons magazine this season? 

Gotta say Happy Birthday today to the great
and powerful CHER. 
She just keeps looking younger every year
as Beth gets older and looks it.

Good idea Cher!! I met up with Robert in CA and he was tall and charming
and just how he appeared on TCM. Genuinely nice and an interesting guy.

#dawgshed #fuschia #pinkdress #sparkles #rockandrollhalloffame
#howardsternisayachtsinker  #sternsinksratings
#agt   #howardisjellyofsimonsyacht
#cher  #robertosborne  #tcm  #hamptonsmagazine