Keeping Up With the Sterns

As already documented on this blog, Howard Stern is so desperate to have his own reality show to compete with the Kardashians' reality show [produced by Ryan Superstar Seacrest] and the Real Housewife franchise series [produced by Awesome Andy Cohen] that he has created his own scripted reality show that not one person is buying and putting on television because it's boring bullshit and well, it's about two desperate nobodies from Planet Ex. This is Howard's Plan 9 from Outer Space and Beth is as dull as she looks.

Howard's having problems justifying the existence of Beth Ostrosky Nobody and keeping her on the payroll aside from having to have a work product for his flailing company 112 Productions. So, we are stuck with "Howard's Boob", a scripted show about the antics of that buffoon Beth O and hoping people will like her since she's a whiny bitch and Howard feels that audiences won't think he has a perfect life all the time and has fights with the ball and chain just like the plain folks in Middle America while Howard fights to stay alive on a burnt out satellite dish and has become the laughing stock of all media and a major ignored pariah especially since getting kicked off Simon Cowell's show "America's Got Talent" (AGT). Howard's in a panic since AGT is starting up soon and Howard can't stand to be ignored. Keep trying Howard, I don't think every person associated with AGT has changed all their contact numbers and you might get your guest judging appearance yet.

The reason why the production schedule is not monthly for Howard's bullshit unreality show, is that each episode has to coincide with something Beth is promoting, like those loser Hallmark Channel Kitten Bowls or some other bullshit having to do with the company that pays her a salary as their useless spokesperson, the North Shore Animal League [having had all of her other titles stripped from her freakish body like chief fundraiser, adopter, foster parent, etc.]. There are product placement ads or live commercial reads during the episodes of the Beth bullshit segments since Beth now wants to be inserted into the Stern banter on his boring stale satellite radio show as if she has followers or fans aside from her paid worshippers, a.k.a., family members on the Stern payola train. But this new show is primarily designed to prove that Beth and Howard somehow live within the same square footage of each other for more than 12 hours per week per Howard's numerology schedule. 

Remember, these are NOT in-studio appearances by Beth. She has not been seen in the studio since last year. These are audio-only scripted appearances and Beth would be paid accordingly since it's not a live studio appearance.

Beth rehearsing her script for Wednesday's show.

Poor struggling Howard is desperate to be a part of the real world of episodic television and just has to make up boring bullshit that his listener might find entertaining. Yes, as I have already blogged about, beginning January 2017 Howard Stern's show "Howard's Boob" is all about the ongoing antics and squabbles of the married lovers, who met while they were wandering around New York, both dumped and dejected looking for anyone who would pay attention to them. Howard was in his loser flab 40's and Beth was in her over-the-hill 30's and it was a match made in Buchwald heaven.

On Wednesday's Howard Stern stale satellite radio show we heard from that pompous unfunny hog of television and movies Amy Schumer, who has a new failed movie she is plugging which she co-stars with Queen Xenu Goldie Hawn. Goldie has that open partnership with Snake Plisskin since insiders are alleging that he doesn't want to part with his Hollywood inheritance or the Hollywood starlets and allegedly cohabitates with another female from time to time with some alleging a threesome, with Goldie choosing the girl. However, some people have said that Goldie stinks, literally, according to those who can stand to be next to her for any length of time when she doesn't have to be camera ready. I doubt Goldie will be congratulating Bette Midler on her Tony Award nomination for her performance in the revival of "Hello Dolly" since she reportedly couldn't stand Bette during the filming of the "First Wives Club".

May 1, Amy at the Met Gala looking like a
blonde baby gorilla.

Amy did get into the biggest fashion and media event of the year, the Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York on Monday and we wonder who paid for her ticket but I think you don't have to look farther than what was Snatched from her corporate sponsors. Amy needs to win a prize for stuffing herself into a leatherette girdle dress with a cape to hide her bat wings and back flab. 


Yes, Beth's former girlfriend was there too at the Met Gala, Katie Lee and remember Beth, no plus ones for this event, sorry. Katie couldn't get you in but then she's got to keep worlds separated like that frequent guest to those goodfellas eateries near her apartment in Tribeca, gosh, doesn't Howard love that pasta? Oh yeah.

Chef Katie Lee of the burgers and beans bunch who thinks she
invented chocolate chip cookies, was at the Met Gala event
on May 1 sans BETH STERN since there
were no PLUS ONES allowed per Anna Wintour, the
Editor-in-Chief of Vogue and the event dictator.

Aside from avoiding Katie Lee's kitchen, just what is happening to Howard Stern's nose? Has he gotten yet another nose reduction? I don't know, but someone in Hollywood might have hooked him up with a hookah smoking caterpillar and got him a freebie medical nose procedure, ya' know what I mean? Medical nose work, inside job, yep, it's possible but that's as far as I will stick my nose into that funny business.

Eat your heart out Howard. The show must go on without you and it tears you apart, right? Keep trying, it could happen this year that you get a guest judging spot on AGT. Keep insulting Simon like you've been doing, oh, that should work. I bet Simon is so jealous of your blind item press and your awesome restaurant sightings [hahahahahahahaha].

May 1, the judges and host of AGT visit Extra TV.

#howardsternsatelliteradioshow
#bethostroskystern #amyschumer #goldiehawn
#howardmarriedaboobandbethmarriedastooge