Turkey Drop

So the turkeys have landed at their Florida Fortress, Stalag Beth South where they continue with their selfie existence thinking that staring at cats all day is charity work while donating approximately 0.0 to the building of Beth's publicized proposed cat adoption center at the charity that pays her a salary, the North Shore Animal League. 

Their selfie gimmick has been carried out since Beth Stern overfed her bulldog Bianca and decided her time had come resulting in the cremation of the dog in record time before an autopsy could be performed to determine the actual cause of death and before Howard's youngest daughter could travel to New York en route from her latest college address to see HER dog before it crossed the Rainbow Bridge. Nope, her dog was gone, with Howard Stern not stepping inside Stalag Beth in the Hamptons because the drama happened during his little work week in Manhattan and he couldn't make it to Stalag Beth when we know he was terrified to face Beth when she has her spells and everyone runs and hides from the fallout since no one is safe and no one will talk about all the alleged "injured" animals Beth finds on her property or on her alleged nature walks with Howard because, ummm, weren't they really injured by Beth? It's a dark secret but everyone is afraid of her as allegedly her personal veterinarian is on call to spear the giant monster and get her sedated until the storm passes. So Bethie handled the whole "Bianca" thing herself. When Beth gets mad, everyone had better run for cover and get a taste tester for their food because no one knows where the Beth shrapnel will hit and who it will hit, but Bianca was history the same year Bethie turned her selfie reported age of the big 4-0, and her one shot chances at a TV show were history. She now runs a slavery and prison camp for cats which allows her to trot on morning TV shows to brag about it.

The Power Pariah Couple have to shuttle themselves back to their Florida surgery center to get much needed nips, tucks and injections to be camera ready for their big buttinsky trip to Cabo, provided they can come up with some new gimmick to force Jimmy Kimmel to let them crash the resort Casamigos, where Jen & Justin normally have a rental and invite some of their friends to stay with them at the end of the year. 

While Beth is in Florida hiding from the Stern side of the family during the Thanksgiving holiday, Howard can sneak back and do his normal family gatherings and visit his parents house and check on the ETA of their kicking the bucket so he can have his acting coach ready to help him with the big press release and a tearful satellite radio broadcast. You see, Simon Cowell just got some publicity when his beloved mother died and Howard wants to top that since Howard doesn't have a sincere bone in his body and has to be told how to act and will try and out-do Simon Cowell and get a ton of press coverage with Beth working on her smug bitch face and will come up with her own family emergency as an excuse to ditch the no-list funeral with Howard stopping in for some press coverage and leaving out the side door. Well, that's the plan anyway, its execution is another story.


The ageless and flawless Heidi Klum got an invite to an exclusive party in Los Angeles on Sunday to celebrate Sean "Diddy" Combs' birthday, yes his Birth Day. God, don't say those words around Emily Stern, she wraps a Jewish flag around her body and hops on a tabletop and chants about how Mother Nature is a goddess and women have the power of reproduction and women are the center of the universe and she doesn't date men and it doesn't have anything to do with her anyway. Hey, let her chant, she has spotters and they won't let her throw herself off any balconies or let her near any bodies of water while Howard is in Florida with the Pudgy Model from Pittsburgh. We just wonder why Howard brags about how rich he is when he is far from being a jet setter and only flies between his corporate homes where he stuffs a few cats in a room, has some photos taken, and writes it off as a big charity gimmick, I mean, how scummy can you get. Oh right, having kids with cancer and their families spend some time at a working ranch in New Mexico is just disgusting. Got it. Beth gets her fughead in a photo with some low quality audio of Howard mumbling gibberish at a few kittens is considered real charity work, wow, Howard, why don't you put that mumbling on a CD and stick it on Amazon where 0.0 will download it like your selfie daughter did, the big chantress of gibberish.

What about that tugboat Robin Quivers? Well she stopped pretending to be vegan so she can eat her standard eight birds this year on Thanksgiving with a clear conscience since her book of vegan recipes tanked and she can't con anyone into actually believing she was ever vegan and that it saved her life. I guess she can't follow up with another recipe book called "How A Side of Beef Saved My Life" since we won't be fooled twice, right Miss Faker? 

Yes, Robin publicly claims that real food saved her life from staged cancer when I don't know how vegan chocolate mousse is considered real food. Robin looks like she swallows a real moose as she finally admits to having a few issues while interviewing people from Howard's past for her next book, with its content dependent upon whether or not Howard provides financially for her and/or get her work on TV or on the radio, if Howard decides to not take the Sirius offer of...take it or leave it; you are getting 80 mil per year total, including all production costs, studio space rental, parking fees, insurance, legal fees, car service, laundry, personal shopper, caterer, and wardrobe.

Remember when Howard Stern went off on Peanuts? Yeah, he only likes the food kind that he stuffs in his mouth to keep from smoking.