Season of the Witch

Beth haunts a radio station to plug that
loser book.

Beth Stern is bothering everyone again during this holiday season since Howard's lawyers set her up in a selfie foundation designed to have cash flowing straight into Beth's wig and facelift fund and not from the pool of money from the Howard Stern's 112 Fund that is slowly getting drained because he is supporting and shutting up dozens of non-earning family members and now has to think about how to fund Robin Quivers' new book venture and come out the big hero in her fake story line designed to keep that monster with the helium inflated head from exploding all over the pages of The National Enquirer.

Beth the Witch is still on her loser book tour and stuffing her enormous football head into a giant man's hat desperate to get noticed anywhere and to justify the fact that Howard is the one buying cases of her junk paper products and dumps them onto schools and libraries so he can say his flunky wife is a NY Times best selling author which only led to the corporate sponsored Kitten bowls where a bunch of cats swat at cat toys and are filmed for hours on end and the boring footage is chopped up into shows for airing on the Hallmark Channel, so everyone gets a nice circle of dough passed around in the name of a D List charity on the north shore of Long Island where a bunch of rich idiots can dump their loser inbred reject animals and the local Wildlife Center can clear off any wildlife from their properties so the bulldozers won't get clogged with deer or turtles when the oceanfront property is cleared to build their selfie mansions to impress the kids they went to school with to prove that not all hookers end up dead in a gutter.

12-4-15, Miss Permanent Botox Frozen Smirk
Katie Holmes made her first appearance at
Art Basel Miami and is also featured on the current
issue of Ocean Drive Magazine.

Beth O'Nobody is once again MIA at the Art Basel Miami event and is once again not on the cover of Ocean Drive Magazine. So, no one in Florida is impressed that the Sterninsky's bought an overpriced mansion to house a few tax write-off kittens every time the Sterns need a Botox and Laser Peel session in their private cosmetic surgery center? What a shock. Where are your Florida magazine covers, Bethie? Gone with the litter boxes?

Oprah Winfrey is getting more press since signing an 8 figure book deal to publish her memoirs, wow, that woman who gave Diane Sawyer the diamond toe ring and was an alleged former hooker in her pudgy fug youth [according to an unauthorized bio of the self made Diva who Joan Rivers mentored ad nauseam giving her airtime on The Tonight Show] is really her own corporation now. She finally dumped that XM satellite radio since she is a superstar all on her own with a star still on the rise. She was the one that made XM satellite radio a success and then Sirius satellite radio paved the way for aged DJs and every Tom, Dick and Martha to glom onto to save their dead careers that were going into full stone age mode and yet able to eke out a meager living into their old age. Howard Stern then tanked Sirius and had to merge with XM to save the failing satellite industry.

Howard is in therapy over the fact he can never top Oprah Winfrey. Go ahead Howard, try and buy some Oscars, try and buy your wife Miss Nobody a career, oh wait, you have, producing shitty books about a cat named Yoda with a plagiarized name so you can get mileage out of your little Google searches for Yoda from Star Wars. At least Howard realizes he is a loser fug that needs to plagiarize a bunch of other people's ideas to get attention.

I have been trying to ignore Beth O's mantra on every show she can horn in on, that she is a crazy cat lady making cats cool. Okay sweetie, you are crazy and a home bound barren nobody with Hausfrau hips, but you stuff your fat ass into designer knock-offs and proclaim to be a selfie model when your big career went straight into a toilet where Howard Stern was found with his obnoxious humor that only demented pre-teens boys on lock down in a group home would find funny. Any cool thing about you Beth, is that frozen mass that sits inside that football head of yours.

Woody Allen used the cat analogy in his classic film "What's New Pussycat?" because cats are cool and equating sexy models with cats is cool. Beth and coolness have no business being in the same sentence. You know Woody Allen, right Beth? The guy Howard impersonated on the radio in his early days of going nowhere, struggling for an identity since most psychos have none, it was the Woody Allen route, with the mommy obsession and self-depreciating humor that started Howard's career. Howard was a dullard spoiled brat with zero talent and looks, and had to impersonate someone before becoming a "rock star" with the enormous wigs and pretending to like rock music when he likes old fart folk music or Beatles vanilla fruit songs and now he has morphed into an aged idiot who thinks he is Johnny Carson, Jay Leno and David Letterman, with the "talk show" gimmick thinking he can interview anybody without printing out their bio from Wikipedia and reading it back to the aged celebrity stuck in the Stern show vortex of nothing.

Oh right, cats were never cool until Beth Butthead
 decided to market them to death in another
failed bid at stardom on the D List.

What happened Howard, with getting Beth in Playboy magazine 15 years ago? Will she do it now that nudes are banned and you can try and fit her enormous ass between its pages and she can hide Mr. Dick from appearing with her? Woody even did that first, appearing in Playboy and being funny. Oh, got photography, Howard? Woody did that too, oh, but Woody was being funny and we know he is an established filmmaker so no comparison there, but what is Howard? An idiot. Oh, but Howard claims Woody allegedly molests kids. Hmm, I wonder why Howard was always locked in a basement in his home on Long Island when his first wife raised the kids? Howard admitted to dashing to work in the big city every day and coming home and racing to his basement every night to work on his radio show with Ralph Cirella in residence [Howard's long time companion that is around 15 years his junior]. Why is Beth having no children around old man Howard Stern? Why is Howard sent packing when Beth's pig faced niece is around? I don't know....it...is...a...mystery. Howard can't stop copying Woody Allen, down to the photography bullshit.

Happy Saturday, Beth Fans, it's still the season of the witch. Hang garlic over your door and hope the selfie monster doesn't pay you a visit pushing those Yoda the cat books in your face.