The Sound of Beth

Sieg Heil!! Sieg Heil!! Beth O is declaring victory after another North Shore Animal League Beth Awards gala event in New York last Friday, where she gave a rousing speech to her troops praising them on another stellar year of suckering a bunch of dopes and stooge morons into giving her money to build an invisible kitten adoption center at the North Shore Animal League, which is a farce that she has been carrying on for three years and counting!! Heil, Beth!!

While the crowds cheered their leader, a group  of dissidents could be heard towards the back mumbling "That bitch is fucking crazy", while others were heard saying "No wonder Howard Stern is a drunk pot smoker, we would be too if we had to live with that SS Werewolf".

A bunch of corporate sponsors showed up as usual to the annual Beth Awards and gathered around Howard Stern's prize, the Queen of the Groupies who managed to score an aged idiot with a cottage cheese butt with money but the aged  idiot with a cottage cheese butt with money managed to score a massively stupid butthead who did not insist on having her own Trust Fund baby to ensure her solvency through her old age and ensure that her reign of terror and infecting daytime television with her fossilized menopausal steroid body dumping homeless animals onto other people, would continue for years to come; oh, she goofed big time as her phantom fans wonder how that fantasy IVF is going this time in Florida in between tattoo eyeliner and tanning bed sessions. Oh, this will all end, and the BFP will be there to witness the fall of a dictator.

Beth just wiped out a huge chunk of the Brazilian Rain
Forest with that emerald she bought mined from there. Thanks Beth.

As usual approximately 0.0 celebrities showed up to support Howard and his selfie monster but audiences were greeted with that ol' tired fossilized transsexual-looking Lisa Lampanelli to host the event since Howard and Beth don't get it, no real star wants to host an event honoring Frau Beth, the Warden and High Commander of Stalag Beth where she throws cats around a prison cell wearing heavy makeup, a huge blonde wig and bizarre costumes denoting a warped brain where her servants, consisting of a few Nazis and captured refugees from Cuba, have to worship her and set up endless photo shoots to satisfy the selfie monster and her belief in her football head that she is a real model instead of a real model groupie who landed a dumped and divorced DJ who couldn't afford to start a second family, I mean, what a loser, just what is all his money tied up in? That mess of knotted frizz curls on the top of his head? 

Will Beth and Howard ever help any homeless and needy humans? No. But on November 23, Kathie Lee and Hoda Yoda [photo right] served meals at the New York City Rescue Mission. The mission is serving 1,000 meals to those in need on Thanksgiving while Beth Stern is serving up some wicked needles and having a selfie party at the Florida Fortress of captured kitten photo props while Howard Stern gathers up his little Victoria's Secret PJs and stuffs them in a suitcase and pretends to put on a show for Beth singing "Edelweiss" to entertain her and catch the prison warden off guard [and without her guards] and plans to exit stage right to escape into a waiting limo to take him to the underground railroad safely away from Beth and her Nazi kitten regime and back to freedom in the Big Apple.

Howard Stern in costume sings with actors to play a scene from the Sound of Music to escape with kittens from Stalag Beth, the Florida Fortress, before Frau Beth catches on and sends her league of SS Nazi prison guards after him to bring him back to his cell in a leaky humid basement in the Florida Everglades surrounded by crocodiles all ready to be stamped "Hermes, Paris".

Please save a turkey this Thanksgiving and roast Beth instead